Worries

#1

Shirabus POV

I don't know what has come over me lately. All I can think about is that the third-years will be leaving soon. I kinda don't want it to be over. I'm not ready to let go or move on. I still have a year left but I always got better along with the third years than my age. Even tho Ushijima-san doesn't talk much, Tendou-san is a little weird and Semi is obnoxious are they all my friends. I am a mess at practice but everybody thinks I'm just stressed for the spring preliminaries. Tendou is the first to mention it, I wish he hadn't.

"Hey Shirabu whassup, all good?" Tendou asked and poked my shoulder. Oh shit, he caught on to me, and that fast. I didn't have the time to come up with a good excuse so I just went with the good old classic.

" Yeah, I'm just a little tired," I said and forced a smile. He raised one eyebrow so high it almost touched the ceiling. Then it was Ushijimas' turn. I don't know what it is but I don't wanna stop setting to him and feeling the saftie from hiding behind a strong and talented person.

"Shirabu resting is very important, if you don't feel good you should go and take a break," Ushijima said. Everything he says is like out of a textbook. I saw Semi glance over at me, he was probably trying to check if I was lying, which I was.

"Don't worry about me I got nine hours of sleep I'm all good," I said and smiled again. I developed a small crush on Ushijima not so long ago. I mean who wouldn't this guy is almost perfect. Goshiki that idiot thinks he can become as great as Ushijima but he's delusional. Tendou is the only one who can force a conversation out of Ushuijima, I've tried but he always goes back to the topic of volleyball after like two sentences. Semi says he's always been like that. I share a room with Semi. It isn't as bad as I thought it would be, he doesn't bring girls to the room and sometimes he plays his guitar, he can play some heart-touching things but I would never tell him that to his face.

The practice soon came to an end and it was time for dinner. I was pretty down after having a pretty sloppy practice, I could barely look at the third-years, our ticket to nationals had practically been given up till now but you just never know.

"We're going to win nationals this year," I said as I sat down between Semi and Goshiki. I just looked down at my food as they stared me down, I hated it. Then as usual Tendou was the first to speak up.

"Well look at you Mister Confident, where did that come from," He said with his usual teasing tone. Some of them laughed and the others just kept staring at me. I usually don't say stuff like this.

"Shirabu is it because I've gotten so much better, that you think that" Goshiki shouted into my ear. Couldn't he show some respect?

"Nope that is definitely not the reason," I said and finished off my plate." You're still nothing compared to our ace," I said and waved my hand at Ushijima. Goshiki started frowning and Tendou laughed at him, fortunately, they couldn't see my worries growing inside me. Being the setter of a powerhouse school had more pressure than one could imagine. I was currently worrying about the third-years leaving and the upcoming matches. What if I wouldn't be able to play my best in the matches, what would happen then. No, I shouldn't think like that. My room is quiet because Semi is still eating with the other guys. I just left them, what is wrong with me today. Semi will probably try to force it out of me he'll bug me till I tell him what's wrong, then he'll probably tease me for it, damn bastard. I was going to study a little bit but when I was going to start I didn't feel like it anymore.

Now I'm lying and staring at the ceiling thinking about winning nationals. It is probably around midnight. Semi came back and asked me if I had studied, I said yes. He fell asleep after playing his guitar for a little bit. It made me want to cry, that he was leaving.

Well, it's my serve now. It's not that stressful because we're in the middle of a set. I serve, it's out. Oh well, we'll take that point back later. what is the ref saying, I can't hear him."Shirabu it's your serve" Ushijima said to me. but that can't be I just flopped a serve like ten seconds ago. So how am I finding myself serving again? This one hit the net. I serve, again and again, not once getting it to the other court and now it's a set point for the other team, who are we even playing. I hit the ball it flies over the net and over the other side, it's out. The third years pack their things and look at me disappointed. the crowd laughed and whispered. What kind of a nightmare is this...

I wake up covered in a cold sweat, it was just a dream. I check the time, mabey it's time to get up already. It's 4:45, not even Ushijima would wake up so early. I guess could go to the gym to get rid of this rush in my head. Of course, I have to tiptoe around the room so I don't wake Semi up. The gym is empty and cold and you couldn't hear a thing. I got out one ball and started doing setting situps, I am going to do 10 rounds of ten and then go back up to my room. I started doing the situps and then my mind wandered elsewhere. My body was a little off and the ball didn't fit in my hands like usual. The third-years were leaving and I would be stuck here with Goshiki. I wasn't gonna keep playing volleyball after high school so I would never get to play with them again, with Ushijima. I stopped setting and rolled to the side. It sure was cold in this room. I was laying there curled up hugging the volleyball thinking about all the good memories I had made in this gym. The clock on the wall ticked. 4:55 had it really just been ten minutes, and why does it have to be so cold.

______________________________________________________

A/N: so I was writing this story but I didn't know how to part it but now I have decided to part it everytime the POV changes, so the chapters will be very different lengths. anyway in the unlikely event that someone actually reads this story, thank you.

Btw I usually post on weekends but I have covid and nothing to do so here's this underrated ship.

______________________________________________________