I Am Your Alpha

02.

Confrontation.

Memories

"Where are you going Val?" I pleaded as a bag laid next to the door and he was wearing his jacket, I was trying to hold on and fight off whatever had possesed  him to leave. "I don't want to be here anymore Xander, it's suffocating, Im tired of being beneath you and your siblings, my own father doesn't see how I'm actually good enough, he only sees you, I can't take it." He hisses back as he snatches his arm away from me, but I wouldn't let him past the door, he's had these tantrums before, and I've always fought them, this one felt different though, something was off. "Get out of my way Xander, or I will go through you." He growls, his eyes glowing an electric blue.

He was an alpha, he was supposed to be the stronger one but I challenged him, I was beta born but my blood was superior, so I stood up to him, towered over him sightly. "No, you're not leaving." I asserted more dominantly than he did and a loud growl escaped his lips. "This is it, this is exactly it, I won't be lesser than you, I am an alpha dammit, I will not submit to you!" He yells as his fist punched right through the wall. "I never asked you to do that." I spoke softly and he scoffed. "You may not but it's the natural way of things, the pack sees it, our families see it, and I won't let it, I won't submit, even if I have to go against the goddess's will." He exclaimed, his conviction burning in his eyes.

"Val what did you do?" I asked cautiously, I knew he had done something, I felt it, going against the goddess, there was something there. "I conceived." He confesses and all my anger washed away as a new feeling sprouted, he might be—, but it didn't. "Don't, I had an abortion." He finished and all the air in my lungs was wretched out, he took an innocent life, our child. "What?" I whispered as I fell to one knee. "I never meant to tell you, but you left me no choice, I can't and won't submit, that's not who I am, I may regret this decision but I made it and I will live with it." He stated as I saw him move past me and pick up his bag and walk out the door. Pushing everything aside I rose to my feet and ran to him, after all he's done, he was my love.

"Valentino, don't go!" I yelled but it was too late. "Don't you get it Xander, I don't love you, and you don't love me either, if you did that girl wouldn't be pregnant with your child." He lashes out and my heart sinks even more. "So that's what this is all about, my mistake, what about the countless ones you've made, the hurt you've put your parents through, the family that died because you led rogues onto pack land, I apologized, begged for your forgiveness, she and I don't love each other, you know that, my refusal to abort my child was purely out of love, children are a blessing, and never would I allow mine to be killed, unlike you!" I finally said it all, finally let my emotions out. He scoffs as he turns to walk away.

"Aborting that thing was the best decision I made, my plans didn't include a child, and Xander my love stemmed from the fact that I wanted to make my family proud, I just used you so that my father wouldn't hesitate when the time came, but as I see now, it was a waste." He finally mutters before getting into his car and driving off, I was astounded, I had no words for all the emotions that were coursing through me, especially the hurt, it was all too much, so I succumbed to the pain, and my vision blurred, I lost myself and fell.

Xander Nile.

"Thank you alpha Xander!" The kids all yelled in unison as we made our way out of the woods, I had been telling them of the history of the packs, their origins, the day's particular topic was Crescent Fall Pack, or popularly known as the Heathen Clan pack in Sydney Falls, it was always an interesting topic since the pack had been founded, governed and taken care of by a rogue alpha blood, who is actually one of the strongest wolves ever in our history, he was also my uncle, and a close friend of our family, I've looked up to him in many ways, he wasn't born an alpha but he took the title and gave it power through his actions and protection, I truly wanted to be like that.

I waved at the kids one last time before turning on my heels and heading for the packhouse, I had somewhat a pile of paperwork to get through in there and it couldn't wait anymore. Making my way in there, I waved at the wolves, played with the kids until I got to the stairs. "Alpha." Marquis greets me as he stood a few steps up. "Little brother." I greeted back and scrunched up his face. "Only by two minutes." He argued as we made our way up, he was my beta, also trained by Jude, dad and pops, he had other duties though, since Lexi couldn't handle the family business all on his own, it would overwhelm him. "What's the order of business today?" I ask with a smile and as quickly as it came, it vanished and a growl escaped my lips. What the hell was Val doing in my office.

I marched up into my office to see Val holding one of Jude's awards, He had left a few in there as recognition, alpha Cornell had his there too, pops aswell, Marquis and I one day would have ours there too. "How quaint, and tacky." Valentino addressed me as he dangled the glass award in his hand. "Be very careful what you do with that." I warned as Marquis finally registered who was in the office with us. "Or what, he'll just earn more." Val replies with a scoff and I growl warning him, he places the item back then lifts his hands in surrender. "Valentino, how can we help you?" Marquis asks and I also was interested in knowing that aswell. "You can't Marquis, so back off, but Xander here, I think he could, by stepping down as alpha." He demands and a scoff escapes my lips.

"Never going to happen." I retort and he turns to fully face me, his eyes dark with anger, my wolf surprisingly wasn't intimidated, rather belittled him, he indeed looked like a child. "Still prone to throwing tanturms huh Val." I taunted making my brother snicker in amusement and make Val angrier. "You aren't getting me to step down, your father, my family, the pack itself chose me to lead us, you think you can waltz into my office and demand something that you'll never be able to get until you actually realize what being alpha is—." I pause circling him then sitting on my chair behind my desk. "Keep dreaming— close the door on your way out, I have work to get done." I conclude and I could see his hand twitch, his anger was barely contained but he'd lost the argument.

"You're more arrogant than before, it's unusual." He comments with a sigh and I lean back watching him, if it weren't for the dark eyes and haunted stare he had narrowed my way, Valentino would've been such a beauty, it was a shame indeed. I remained silent to his comment as he walked up to the desk with a slight smile. "Do they know, have you told them that the boy who left you broken before, is your mate." He whispered and the pain ran through me, it showed in my eyes, he could see it, I saw it in that smirk. How dare he ever think of using that against me, why was the goddess punishing us both, I would always love Valentino, but I couldn't handle the pain he gave me.

He left and I finally breathed, Marquis didn't say anything, but I knew he heard. Surprisingly my wolf wasn't pining for Val, it detested him to an extent that shocked me, was this how it felt when a wolf would rather be alone than with a mate bent on hurting him. Goddess, why.

+++

Saint_Jay