"I'll be waiting right here, Den. Us two and Mona will be halfway to Chapel Hill by the end of the Day," he said reassuringly.
I nodded. "It won't take as long this time. The walking will take longer than the talking."
He wouldn't have minded if that wasn't the case. I just had to say it aloud to convince myself of what I was going to do.
I tried to replicate his smile before I stalked off, sure that it appeared more like a confused scowl. I could never control the faces I made. Not very well. Not when I came here.
The tombstone was about 400 meters out, a distance I was familiar enough to estimate, considering it was my best event in track. Of course, that didn't help me when I came here.
Walking to the tombstone was my only sure way of ever reaching it. If I jogged, I'd jog right past it and loop my way back to my ride. If I ran, I'd trip over a root that was sure to sprout out of the ground at that very moment.
I liked to think of it as his way of forcing me to be very present. I had no way of fast-forwarding through this. And choosing to be ignorant wouldn't change the past.
When I finally reached the tombstone—his tombstone, I steadied myself with a deep breath. In through my nose, out through my mouth. Once, twice.
I bent over and placed my hand on the smooth, cold surface of the stone carved with his name.
"Cadence here, getting ready to temporarily sign off and start on that adventure we planned out. I'm always gonna wish you could be there with me. In person. But I'll try to be happy knowing you still see me. Still look out for me," a pause. Then, "I love you, always."
There. I said my piece. And like the last dozen times I came here, I fell into a sitting position and hugged that smooth, cold stone. I traced the letters, kissed his name.
"I love you so much," I whispered. The tears started slipping out at some point, but I didn't realize until my cheeks caught the breeze blowing by.
"I know," I laughed. "You don't want me to keep him waiting." A stronger gust started to push against my back.
"Ok," I nodded, seeking some reassurance yet again. "Ok," I said once more.
I opened my eyes, looked up at the sky, and smiled.
This time, if I wanted to run, I could. I never tripped on my way out. He didn't want me to.
YOU ARE READING
IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU
RomanceShe had love. She wanted more. She got heartbreak. •••• Excerpt: [He stopped his bike one foot from mine, took off his helmet and reached over to flip my visor up. I let him, trying not to lean into his retreating hand. The hill between us and our b...
