Indeed, I was speechless the moment he told me about the news. Several things were going through my mind and, for the first time in my entire life, I was suddenly cautious of what will I say… not that I'm not cautious in dealing with other people but for heaven's sake, he's not just one of those other people because, he's my own best friend! At this point in time, I should just spit out what I want to say… well, actually, what should I say really?
The bell saved me for we suddenly rushed into our lines for the flag ceremony. The rest of the day went on our usual routine. I and Nick were on the same section and we have the same group of friends which doesn't include Fei because she also has a different circle of friends. She's pretty popular in our school because she's beautiful and smart. She's also friendly. Maybe that's the reason why my best friend likes her. Well, Nick did not actually admit that but I somehow knew it even before. After all, he's my best friend. That's right, he's my best friend and Fei is a nice girl so why should I be worried or something? I laughed secretly at myself for that. I'm just really over reacting.
"You seem happy? What is it? Am I missing a joke here?" , Nick said as we are heading towards the same street that lead to our own homes.
"Of course. I'm just happy that you've finally had the guts to ask Fei to be your date." I responded wholeheartedly while giving him a slight punch on his shoulders.
"Right, but is it really okay to you? I mean, how about you. Has anyone asked you yet?"
I just shrugged and I caught his reaction. He seemed worried for his best friend and to save him from that guilt, I said,
"You'll just wait and see. But really, it's fine with me. Of all people in the world, beside from your family, I should be the one who should really understand you."
As I've finished talking, I noticed that we were already on my front gate and as he head towards their house, he just waved goodbye and he smiled at me. Wow, that smile made my thoughts become disorganized for a moment. I'm used to it actually but why is it that all of a sudden… I felt something was strange…
My mom called from our house. I erased that thought immediately. I can't go on every now and then trying to figure out if what's so strange about everything that's happening!
I guess it's time to start a new entry on my diary.
Hey Nick!
I'm experiencing a super weird day! I don't know why.
[I deliberately erased that last sentence]
Okay, it's not the right time to be a lousy liar. Of course I know why. I think I'm starting to appreciate every single detail about my best friend, I'm used to seeing him every now and then but a while ago, I felt unnecessarily lonely because of the fact that he asked Fei to be his date when it should be me! I hate myself for this… I can't be this selfish right? I'm happy for him but something just don't fit in… In the first place why should I be jealous? OMG, there… I said it, I am jealous!
Maybe for the attention… maybe deeper.. Whatever it is! All I know is,
One thing is certain, : I'm clearly starting to notice a star which has always been there in my horizon!
Gail <3
