such.. a special place.

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the small streak of light coming from the slightly opened window, and the sound of birds chirping woke dazai up, as he slowly opened his eyes, letting out a small whimper "..its morning already?" said the brunette to himself, with a tired, slowly fading voice. After a while of staring at the ceiling, and thinking of what happened yesterday, he remembered falling asleep into fyodors arms, but fyodor was nowhere to be seen.. he was about to get out of bed, with his legs still slightly trembling from his disease, as he heard a voice from the kitchen "dont get up yet! the doctor said to rest as much as possible, dear." he smiled as he knew who's voice that was. he had decided to listen to his beloved's words and go back in bed to rest. suddenly, he felt like he couldn't breathe. suffocated and with sweat all over, he struggled to stay breathing normally. he had decided not to call fyodor and worry him, and ran outside as quickly as he could to breathe. "huff.. huff.." the first place he had thought of is their secret place, their home. he ran to it as fast as possible, and stood there as he slowly regained his ability to breathe. he felt the cold breeze send chills to his spine, but felt relieved. soon after, fyodor, who brought the food and had thought dazai was still in his bed, freaked out when he couldn't find dazai. "NO! DAZAI!" he looked around the whole house, and couldn't find him. he had even checked the toilet. he started to get very anxious and started trembling in fear that dazai had ran away."no.. no.. w-who am i.. who am i gonna hehehe now with.. where did you go.. please come back.." realizing whats happening, fyodor picked himself up with the strength he had left and ran straight to the already opened door. not even grabbing a jacket, in this cold weather. it felt like all his thoughts have disappeared. the only thing he could think about was his precious dazai.. his brunette.. his one and only.."just.. where did this idiot go?" he searched every place that came to his mind. the restaurant they confessed their love in, the tree lined street they had always went to.. everywhere. yet, he was nowhere to be found.. it had already become noon, the cold wind made fyodor freeze, barely being able to feel his hands. yet, he had not given up. he would never give dazai up.. there was still this one place.. "our secret place... our home" he mumbled to himself. he rushed as fast as possible to the place he had thought of. he was sure there was no way dazai wouldn't be there. *coughs and struggles to breathe* "haa.. haa.." he had finally.. reached the secret spot. he stood silently as he saw dazai on the ground, near the bridge, with the sun shining on him. dazai was in a daze, and couldn't focus on his surroundings. he had completely forgot about everything in that moment. fyodor snapped back to reality and ran up to dazai as fast as possible. "D- *cough* DAZAI!" he run as fast as he could and hugged dazai very tightly and passionately. fyodor had started tearing up at the sight of dazai. fyodor continued to hug him tightly and give him kisses, one after another.. though dazai wouldnt respond.. fyodor quickly stepped back and his happy expression swept into a worried one as he saw dazais eyes... its as if, there was no light in his eyes.. as if he was looking at the eyes of a dead person, someone who was sick of life yet was.. forced to live. he had asked dazai why he had looked as if there was no meaning in his life anymore. to which dazai responded with, "there is no need for me to live anymore. life is.. too hard for me. i'm sick of this disease and everything this world has to offer." "..." fyodor didn't respond. his expression had changed into a mad expression but he stayed quiet. after a few minutes, he had finally spoken. "why would you say that? why are you saying that as if i'm not here? i'm here for you. yet you're completely ignoring the fact that i am." dazai turned around to look at fyodor with a shocked look on his face. he mumbled something. "what?" said fyodor. "i-i said i loved you." mumbled dazai once again. however, fyodor had actually heard it this time. fyodor's face immediately changed into a surprised face at that moment. dazai realizing what he had said, turned red quickly barely being able to look his lover in the eyes, thats how embarrassed he was. though deep down, he was satisfied and it felt like a big worry of his has been removed. Fyodor on the other hand, being still surprised at what his lover has said, it wasnt something usual for him to say.. during their whole relationship dazai has not said "i love you" even once.. though fyodor did not ask about it, he couldnt help but question it. as he continued to stare him in the eyes, he fell deeper and deeper for him, his beautiful rosy lips.. his curly brown hair that he never bothered to take of, yet looked so flawless, everything about him. including the smallest things, he was undoubtedly in love with dazai. Fyodor let out a small "hehehe" which left a confused expression on his lover, he grabbed his chin, going over his rosy lips, and quickly went in for a kiss, though dazai flustered and confused, closed his eyes and couldnt help but enjoy. fyodor kept kissing him passionately and gently, and eventually, dazai gave in. they continued to kiss for a few more minutes, until dazai got exhausted. fyodor noticed this, and stopped kissing him. "why.. why did you stop..?" shy dazai, who was enjoying this, said disappointedly. "it's better for us to stop now." *kisses dazai on his forehead* "it's too cold now and i don't want you getting sick. let's go home and sleep near the fireplace." said fyodor. dazai couldn't help but giggle while imagining the situation of them cuddling together. fyodor then carried dazai in his arms, and on the way, dazai fell asleep in his arms like a baby. when they finally got home, fyodor gently put dazai on the bed, and then got in the bed himself. he smiled while looking at dazai sleeping peacefully while cuddling him. he stroked his hair gently while saying, "how adorable." he kissed dazai's forehead and fell asleep as well while cuddling dazai.

authors note: hello our fans. we sincerely apologize for the amount of time it took us to release the chapter, but we hope that you understand. we couldn't post this chapter for a very long time because of our exams and how busy we were. to make up for it, we made this chapter longer than the first. we hope you enjoy.

(p.s): thank you so much to our biggest fan and supporter, helmine1. we appreciate your support and hope you continue supporting us.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 27, 2022 ⏰

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