Chapter 12 - Holding back

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Angie

I run into Charlotte on Campus. I've been hanging out with Clive, the coffee guy and I'm on my way back to the dorm when I see her. She's on the phone, but she waves at me, so I walk towards her.

"Hi," I whisper. I don't want to interrupt her call, but it also feels weird to just ignore her. She wraps it up and puts the phone back in her pocket. She puts on her mittens. It's getting seriously cold.

"Hi Angie. I was just talking to Andrew," she says. She doesn't look happy.

"How are things between you two? Nancy mentioned you had a fight at Thanksgiving..." That's a lie, and she must know that. Nancy never mentions something. She tells you something elaborately. No matter the subject.

"So, you know. Everybody knows..." She frowns and looks down.

"I'm sorry." I am. It must suck to have everyone know about your cheating boyfriend.

"It's okay. I mean, we're not great, but we'll try to make it work." She sighs.

"Is it worth it? All the pain, all the trouble?" I ask her and put my hands deep in my pockets. I don't have any mittens. I find something in my pocket. "Do you want chocolate?" I ask and show her the mini chocolate bars from my pocket. She takes one.

"I stole them from... I mean, I got them at the library." She laughs.

"Angie, I don't care that you steal chocolates. And to be honest, I don't know if it's worth fighting for, the relationship."

"Does he make you happy?"

"He used to." She looks so sad. Part of me wants to hug her, but I'm not a hugger.

"Why don't you just dump his ass?"

"I can't... I don't know. I love him..."

"But you deserve to be happy. I'm not even trying to ship Nathan right now, but there are plenty of guys out there," I say and realize that I'm starting to ramble. Goddess, I'm becoming Nancy! Charlotte smiles at me.

"It's sweet of you. Really," she insists because I'm about to apologize. "But Andrew and I have been together for a long time. And I always imagined that he would be the one I'd marry. Our families are great friends. Deep down he's a good guy, and I'm not about to give up so easily."

"It's not my business anyway. I just want to see you happy," I tell her.

"Have you ever been in a long-term relationship?" she asks me.

"No, I haven't. I... haven't even been in love."

"Ever??" she says shocked, as if she can't quite comprehend the idea.

"Ever."

We walk in silence for a while. That's one of the things I like about Charlotte. Silence isn't awkward in her company.

***

When I get back to the dorm, I find a hectic version of Nancy trying on what seems to be all her clothes. Her cheeks are red, her hair is still wet from the shower, and she doesn't notice me at first. I lay down on my bed and watch her twirl around in some lacy black underwear.

"Hey Nancy, what's going on?" I ask her with a laugh.

"Oh! Angie, I didn't see you!"

"I know." I tease.

"I just... I hoped that maybe you wouldn't come home," she says, and it makes no sense to me at first.

"What?! Did I do something? Or say something?" Oh great, I probably made her mad somehow without even noticing. I'm such an idiot sometimes.

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