The mafia and his lost queen

Happy new year Sashtians!!!!!!

A small request? Read through this.

Since last night I have been having this failure feeling that another year has passed and what did I do? What did I achieve? What have I done all year that made my parents proud of me? And to be really honest, the answer was none. Absolutely nothing. When I look back at 2021, and see what events took place all through the year, I just realize that I completely failed my parents, the education system, my family, myself and so on. I was nothing but a burden on them who ate their food, spent their money and created nothing but trouble for them because I forwarded my papers, froze my semester but still achieved nothing.

So, I was thinking that maybe.........................maybe someone here too would be feeling this way, maybe someone here too would start their New Year's not happily but sad, depressed and lost of all energy and hope because of what they had done the past year. Look, I am saying this for you all that take in a deep breath, sit and calm down. It's okay. It's totally okay. You are a human and these ups and downs are bound to happen, these stops, these barriers in the way sometimes do get harsh and sometimes a human does collapse in front of them but it's okay. No need to beat yourself up and make yourself suffer for next year which can be made good. What's done is done, what has happened has happened, don't fret over it or don't cry over it too harshly that you lose your sanity and eyesight over the next year's sights. What's in the past is in the past, you cannot change it but what's coming next? You can work hard for it and achieve it. There was a line in a book whose name I forgot, where a kid was saying to his grandma I suppose or vice versa that if you keep looking back, how would you see what's in front? So it's okay, I know the feeling of thinking of being a failure as I have been that countless number of times, but if no one is there for you, let me tell you that I am. And having these feelings is totally okay. Just like I made Ashton say ig, that it's good to feel emotions and you should feel them, let them flow through your body but don't let them take direct control over you.

You can prevent having the same feeling again next year if you start preparing from right now, right this moment. Yes, the change would be hard, yes it would be very very difficult and will make you collapse at many points, but don't give up. DO NOT GIVE UP! You are a fighter, a warrior, a fucking champion! You have it in you. Take baby steps, slow steps. If you are into smoking and vaping e.g, start to cut it off slowly because it's bad. If you are into harming yourself, start cutting it off slowly and easily and so on and so forth. Don't suddenly stop because that is more harmful but slowly. Next year is your year, you are the champion and the trophy holder. You want to cry today? Cry. You want to scream? Scream. You want to wave off the feeling by having fast food? Go for it. It's okay. Go easy on yourself, I love you. I don't know many people here but I do know some an I will be saying this for all. I. Love. You. I love you guys so much and am so damn proud of you.

Some of you may even be going through depression or anxiety or stress phases and many many other issues and trust me......................if parent's don't acknowledge that and say that to you? I will. I am proud. I am so proud of you for making it this far you have no idea. It's not easy. Fighting depression for instance is not easy, giving up nicotine for another instance is not easy, giving up the habit of harming yourself is not easy but God damn am I proud of each and everyone of you for pulling it through and making it out! Do you have any clue how happy YOU guys make me, how proud YOU guys make me? Do you even have any clue because trust me you don't. My heart has never been more happy seeing anyone as of you people! Fucking legends. I am so happy to get to know each and everyone of you.

Please go easy on yourself and not too harsh, give yourself a break because the world wouldn't. They will never ever give you time to breath or relax and will constantly bully you. So go easy on yourself. Don't turn into the past Ashton, it is horrible. Very very horrible. Start working for yourself, secure your future, brighten up your days because at the end it's you and only you. Nobody will be beside you but you.

If you ever feel suicidal, dm me on discord, and I will reply. You want a very fun outlet? Join the discord, you will meet amazing amazing souls there who just like you are struggling and trying to make it through but their laughters and their smiles for a few genuine moments is worth to watch and makes you smile too. Once again, a happy new year to you all. If you are struggling, trust me things will get better, time doesn't remain the same. Keep working hard and you will achieve milestones. God will clear your path, just keep on struggling. And ignore the last year. What has happened, has happened. Now? A new game, a new page, a new chapter, a new novel, a brand new start! You guys are fucking gems and prove it to the world!

Love each and everyone of you to the moon and back!