Forced Reconciliation

9.

Andi Rhoades

"C'mon, let's go inside and I'll make you some tea or something."

Harry's voice vibrated my head that was resting on his chest, pulling me out of my sobs and reminding me that we're still standing on the doorstep together at 9:30 pm on a Friday night.

I could only manage to nod, unsure of what else I should do. His hold on me loosens, and he slightly pulls back to look me in the eyes with his hands holding my face, wiping my tears ever so gently. 

"Are you okay?" There's a certain uneasiness to his voice like he's afraid of the answer. I shake my head in his hands and he brings me to his chest again where I let out another sob that I had been holding in. "Hey, shhh... it's alright. You can cry... you never have to be afraid to cry in front of me. You know that, right? It's just me, Andi."

This causes me to cry even harder while he holds me tighter, letting out every single feeling and emotion that I've been holding in for the last month. Tonight seems to have been the cherry on top that sent me into this heavy state of emotions.

After what feels like hours of crying and Harry whispering reassurances in my ear, I finally feel stable enough to pull myself from his chest, wipe my eyes, and step through the front door with my bare feet. Setting my black heels on the floor in the entryway, I look up to find Harry waiting for me. 

"You look really nice, Andi," he tells me with a sheepish grin like he immediately regrets the compliment.

"Thank you," I smile back and follow him into the kitchen. 

I take a seat on one of the barstools while Harry makes his way to the pantry to most likely make me some sort of tea. He doesn't turn on any of the overhead lights, leaving only the small glow from the stove and the moonlight as our source of light. 

"You still like mint?" He asks me to which I just nod and he gets to work on making me my favorite hot drink. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Seems like that'd be crossing a boundary, doesn't it? Talking to my ex-boyfriend about what a dick my current boyfriend is?" I try to lighten the mood which obviously works because I get a chuckle out of him when he turns to face me. 

He shrugs his shoulders like he's thinking about his next words very carefully in order to not upset me further. "The Andi I know wouldn't stay with someone who didn't treat her right."

"You don't really know me anymore, Harry." I lie. "Two years is a long time. I could be a completely different person than who I was when you knew me. A lot's happened that you have no clue about."

The truth is that I haven't changed all that much. I'm still the same Andi at my roots, just more mature and grown-up now. It's crazy; two years doesn't seem like that much time, but so much can change about a person.

He nods, taking the kettle off the stove as it starts whistling, "Still like mint tea after a cry though, and that counts for something." 

Harry pours the water over the teabag in the plain black mug before sliding it and a bottle of honey across the counter. I fight the urge to smile at the fact that he even remembers I drink it with honey, so instead, I find myself looking down at my hands as I stir my drink with a spoon. 

It goes silent between us for a few moments, but I can feel Harry's intense stare even through the darkness that we sit in. 

"What about you?" I ask, breaking the silence we've now created. 

"What about me?"

I sigh, "Are you the same Harry that I knew?"

He rolls his lips into his mouth and suddenly there's a look on his face that I don't recognize. "Like you said, two years is a long time."