CONEHEADS: PLANETARY CONQUEST

CHAPTER ONE

2008
6 Zerls After Second Failed Planetary Conquest

Earth, the planet of the bluntskulls. Remulak has feared of returning after the life forces of the Conehead family had ceased in an attack from the bluntskulls. But after zerls and zerls of waiting, I cannot let the High Master let us live in fear or let the Conehead family's sacrifice go unpunished. "Mebs!" Marlax shouted down the hall. "Mebs! Mebs! Mebs! Mebs! Mebs!" I turned around as Marlax entered my living chamber.

"Greetings, Marlax," I smiled.

"You demanded a meeting with the High Master?"

"I did," I admitted.

"Tek, demanding such a request will leave the High Master very displeased."

"Let him be displeased. Remulak's time has come for the mission of planetary conquest to continue, starting with the planet of the bluntskulls."

"The bluntskulls..." Marlax muttered, a faint shiver running through him. "The planet of the bluntskulls is dangerous."

"The bluntskulls are dangerous," I nodded. "And so are we."

"Their weapons have advanced over the years. They are at war with each other as it is."

"Then they shall be too distracted to see our battle fleet entering the Earth's atmosphere and we can conquer the planet as we should have zerls ago. Now, if you will excuse me, I must not keep the High Master waiting." I walked around Marlax and made my way to the High Master's chamber.

"The High Master will not allow—"

"Allow?" I laughed. "I do not recall saying anything about asking permission."

"That is treason!"

"So is altering your trelgs and we lack a Garthok to knarfle. I do not fear facing the High Master for treason."

"We have these rules for a reason, Tek. We must not return to the planet of the bluntskulls."

"And that is why you are no longer a mentott. Krabstotz, Marlax! I am not about to gaalak with you over the matter. Now, return to your living chamber before I take my lower leg extremity and shove it so far up your sard that your life function ceases and will have to be placed in a slar pod where you will slowly decay until you are nothing but a pile of bones."

"Mebs!"

"Maintain low tones!" The hallway fell silent.

"Very well," Marlax grumbled. "But when you scrabnord, do not come to me bearing emotional fluid from your view portals."

"Agreed," I gently bowed my head and continued down the hall and out to the streets. Ships flew overhead and people aimlessly walked by unaware that their fate was in my hands, the entire planet of Remulak's fate was in my hands.

"Greetings," One Remulakian smiled as he passed me on the safety walking road.

"Greetings," I smiled back and made my way down the street, stopping at the traffic-stopping walking strip as I waited for the magnocycles to pass so I could safely cross to the other side. Once safe, I crossed to the other side and made my way further down the street, stopping outside the council chamber. I took in a nervous breath and made my way inside. I was not sure why I was so nervous; I have been planning this presentation to the High Master for many zerls and knew that this conquest needed to continue in order to secure our survival in the universe.

"Halt!" One Remulakian snapped. "State your business."

"I am Tek Zudrors and I have a meeting with the High Master, who are you?"