You, Me, and My OCD

Chapter Eight

'ello my little Lilly Pads!!!

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"Good morning Aleah." Dr. Bryten spoke as we walked into my room.

"Good morning." I said as I gently shut my Bible.

"What were you reading?" He asked.

"Joshua 1:9."

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Dr. Bryten recited.

I nodded and smiled.

"One of my favorites." he said as he walked over and sat on my bed. He patted my knee softly. "It's going to be okay Aleah. I promise." he assured me.

"I know." I answered confidently. "I realized.... my parents hindered me in a lot of ways and maybe I am not as sick and I thought I was... maybe I am..." I stopped and took a deep breath. "I am a victim of child abuse and neglect."

Dr. Bryten's face broke into a huge grin. "I am so proud of you right now I could just smush you!" he exclaimed as he squeezed me tight. I laughed.

He kissed my forehead and stood. "I was sent down here to invite you to breakfast at our house this morning."

"Your house?" I echoed.

"Yes. Ms. Tinsley wanted me to invite you for pancakes and eggs.... and she said if you said no to drug you and bring you anyway."

I laughed before nodding. It sounded fun.

"I'll be in my office when you're ready." he said before smiling at me gently and leaving my room.

I took a deep breath and bowed my head. "God, everything I have been taught is a lie and you know that. You know I've asked you into my heart. I've believed your son came and died on the cross for me. I know that I am saved. I know, despite my feelings, that you love me. I am scared.... and terrified.... and so hurt that my parents could do this to me, but I know you sent me here and are loving on me through the Jacksons'. I know I am not bad, but was born into a bad set of circumstances. I am stepping out of the boat today and walking on the water with you. Please lead me. I am so worried about messing up, but your word says you won't leave me and that means you won't let me fall. I put my trust in you asking that you pour out you love on me today. In your name I pray." I prayed before swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "Oh and Jesus... if you would... could I please have a Starbucks today? I don't know how you would do it, but I know you love me and can, so I am asking you to provide."

I happily skipped over to my dresser and pulled out some purple skinny jeans and a long black top with a skull on it. I quickly dressed in the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. My hair was poofy and an ugly red color. My face was swollen from last nights cry and I was big.... really big. I shook my head, grabbed my makeup bag and began to apply my foundation. "Lord, I know I am beautiful inside, but please help me to feel beautiful on the outside too." I prayed as I applied my eyeliner.

I finished my makeup and put my hair up in a high ponytail with a purple bow. I slid on some socks and grabbed my black glitter boots before walking out into the hall and into Spencer.

"I am sorry!" he exclaimed as his arms straightened me.

"It's okay. I wasn't paying attention." I said as I studied the floor. I was a little embarrassed to be around him and Stephyn this morning. I didn't really do well in social situations, not to mention the fact I had cried a small river last night.