FOUND: A Hannigram Devil AU

17

     Will sat across from Hannibal the next day with his head slumped forward, hands folded in front of him like a prisoner waiting for his trial. He'd never asked Hannibal why he'd been awake so late at night, nor did he even mention the phone call. He simply picked at his skin and tried to form the right words.
     "I just want to forget it all," he muttered. "I don't feel coherent anymore. I'm not here."
     "You don't feel alive?"
     "..I feel like I'm fading. I'm a ghost."
     Hannibal stayed silent.
"I don't know how to explain it." Will stood, tearing at loose skin on his hands as he paced around. "I wake up, and I worry. I drive to work, and I worry. I worry when I'm at home, in the car, on the job, in the classroom..and then I go to bed, and I have nightmares, and I wake up and I get to do it all again!" His fingers were blazing with pain, open scabs now threatening to bleed. Hannibal took notice of his anxiety.
"What do you worry about?"
"Everything." He drew out every syllable of the word, emphasizing it. "I worry about everything."
Hannibal got up from his chair and walked behind his desk, rummaging in a drawer before pulling out a roll of gauze. He approached Will and took one of his hands, slowly wrapping soft tissue around the wounds. Blood dotted the white. Will felt himself relax at the gesture.
"..Thank you."
"When I revealed the truth about myself to you, you begged me to leave Abigail alone." Hannibal didn't look up from his task. His touch was gentle. "You thought I intended to kill her, and you offered yourself to be killed in her place. Were you hoping that I would kill you?"
Will closed his eyes for a moment, shame flushing through him. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he nodded.
"I wouldn't have objected. I don't think I'd object now."
"Well, we have a deal to finish." Hannibal smiled, finishing the bandaging. "You're not going anywhere on my watch."
Will ran his thumb over the gauze on his fingers. "I only get to relax in my sleep anymore," he said, "and that's just because of you."
"Do you feel peaceful when you sleep?"
"Mhm. I almost want to say that you did too good of a job." He choked out an awkward laugh. "I dread the moment my body wakes up."
Hannibal's smile faded, and he stared into Will's eyes with an unreadable expression. "My goal is to give you the same relief in your waking life. Allow you to relax without anyone else's help."
"When that's over, do you leave? Will the ghosts come back?"
"The ghosts will never be back. What I've gifted you will remain for the rest of your life. I don't plan on vanishing— I like this body too much to waste it."
Will's shoulders fell. It was always an unsettling reminder; he wasn't speaking to a human, not a brain in a body. This was something entirely Other. Something that wasn't born in this body, but was using it like a suit.
"Does Nicholas Boyle haunt you?"
"Killing Nicholas made me see things differently. A veil lifted for just a moment."
"What lies beyond the veil that you couldn't see before?"
"Everything was brighter. Too bright. Loud and overwhelming and blinding." Will felt a shiver. "I felt..a rush of energy."
"It brought you power."
"I've never felt powerful before."
"You enjoyed it."
Will didn't answer.
"When I met you, Will, I could see it in your eyes: you were famished. Now that you've had a taste of killing, its flavor will never leave your tongue. It lingers now, as it always will. Tell me, what did it taste like then?"
Will's mouth twisted in disgust. "Bitter and rotten. I wanted to wash it out of my mouth in any way I could."
"And now?"
"..It's aftertaste has hit. There's a slight sweetness."
Hannibal took Will's hand again, and he just then noticed how much he'd been worrying away at the gauze. His hands were always moving, it seemed.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Hannibal said. "You've delivered justice. You've administered your revenge for what happened to Katie. You saw parallels there."
"I'm no better than him."
"As far as we know, Cassie Boyle didn't try to choke her brother to death." He gave Will a reassuring look. "As I told you, thoughts are never criminal. You enjoyed killing Nicholas Boyle."
"I did," Will whispered in reply. Hannibal nodded, encouraging him. "I..I liked killing him."
"Your first step to peace is to accept that. You cannot berate yourself for what's already come and gone." Hannibal thought for a second. "Tell me again, Will: what do you worry about?"
Will's words came out slowly. "I worry that the rest of the world can see inside of me, and they can see something horribly, horribly wrong. I feel like everyone knows what I've done, even though only we were there."
"That's why you avoid eye contact."
"I hate feeling like someone's looking into my soul." On cue, he shifted his gaze away. "When you looked in my eyes, what did you see? That first day?"
Hannibal's eyes flickered with anticipation. "Potential," he replied. "Endless potential."
Will's phone began to ring.
———————————————————————————
"How do you always know to call when I'm in therapy?"
Will and Hannibal walked alongside Jack later that afternoon, having driven an hour and a half to a small motel near Wolf Trap. There'd been another killing, nothing related to the Shrike. That detail angered Will— he wanted to focus on the Shrike and nothing but the Shrike. It wasn't fair to Abigail to act like another murder was more important.
"Maybe tell people to stop killing while you're in therapy. Besides, you're not the one paying for it— the FBI is. I'll foot the bill if it means you're on the scene." Jack bypassed the employees on the scene, whispering a few words to them. They all turned and walked away from the motel's entrance, knowing by now to leave Will to his own devices.
"You need to be careful," Jack continued. "It's soup in there. Even Katz needed to catch her breath."
Will turned towards Hannibal. "Do you want to come in with me?" He asked, hoping that he'd agree. He wanted Hannibal's insight.
Hannibal brightened slightly. "If I may."
Wordlessly, Will gestured for him to follow. He curled his hand around the doorknob, and Jack stepped back. Hannibal leaned close.
"Are you going to be alright?" He whispered.
"I'm really close to snapping. This is the last thing I need."
"I can talk to Jack—"
Will turned the knob and entered.