Chapter 1: Tangi

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"What do you mean you can't save her?" My mother screams.

"I'm sorry miss. There just isn't anything we can do. The necessary tech hasn't been invented yet," The doctor replies smoothly.

"There has to be another way!"

"I'm sorry miss. All you can do now is pray." The doctor tells her.

"I'm an atheist!" She screams, "Isn't there some experimental option?"

"We've done everything we can. If we keep experimenting she could end up worse off."

"I just got her back, I can't lose her again!"

"Mom, it's okay. I'll be okay." I assure her.

"I'll leave you two alone." The doctor says and walks off.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" She asks.

'Worthless. Empty. Alone.' I wanted to tell her that all of my life, but she'd never listen. So what I really say is "I'm fine Mom. I'm fine."

"Why didn't you tell me you thought you might be depressed before? It might have prevented all this" She says.

"I tried Mom! Whenever I came close you were so happy. And even when I tried to sit you down and talk you just cast it aside." I say forcefully.

"You're so sensitive to every little thing. How was I supposed to know?"

"You're my mother. You should trust me when I tell you I'm not happy. I feel like no one knows me. The real me." I tell her.

"Let's get you home sweetie."

~~~

When we got back to the apartment, my room was all different. My mom must have remodeled while I was in the hospital. My bed has a new purple comforter, the once blank white walls were pink and covered in posters. The ceiling is doused in glow stars. The curtains were taken off the windows, a mirror is here, and there are a lot of lamps. Lava lamps, multicolored lamps, any kind of lamp you can name is probably in my room. It doesn't feel like... Me.

~~~
When I applied for a job at S.T.A.R labs, last year, they said I needed a physical examination. They had a doctor on hand. Her name was Dr. Snow. She said I wasn't fit for work, that I had depression and that I was developing a heart disease. She said it was caused by the depression. I decided that, after all of the positive depression tests, it was time to tell my mom. When I finally told her she started by screaming, then she burst into tears.
~~~
The doctors have been trying to cure me, and they ran out of options. The bills were becoming more expensive than we could afford. My mom made me move in with her, she said she wanted to spend more time together. When she left for work, I snuck over to S.T.A.R labs. I wanted to see if there was anything Dr. Snow would and could do for me. She said that she wasn't aware of the necessary tech. She did offer to let me stay at S.T.A.R labs. She said if she found anything that could help, she would do it. We started to grow close. She would tell me stories and keep me updated on the news, she'd tell me about her wedding plans and how the particle accelerator was coming along. Caitlin said it might bring the cure I need. My mom would visit as much as possible. At first she was mad that I left, then she understood.
~~~
"What's going on?" I ask no one in particular. 'Is anyone even here?' I woke to a loud bang. Something's coming through the loud speaker, but I can't make it out. "CAITLIN?!" I scream. She rushes into my room.

"It's okay, Tangi. It's all going to be okay. Go back to sleep." She says as she injects something into my IV.

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