Remember (An Ascendance Series Fanfic)

1: Farthenwood

"Are you sure you are going to be fine?" Imogen asked, staring at me with a worried expression.

"I'll be alright," I assured her, my voice going soft. "We need this. I should have done it a long time ago." Imogen nodded. "Tobias and Roden are downstairs."

"I'll be back soon," I told her. "I love you." Even though we had been married for a year now, I still found it hard to believe that Imogen still chose me, after everything that had happened.

"Be safe," she said, then I walked down the stairs where Tobias and Roden were waiting.

"Are you ready ?" I asked them.

"It's only the adventure of a lifetime," Tobias shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

I wasn't sure. We might never be ready, but I was determined that we were going to do it.

"Now or never," Roden said, then jumped into the wagon. Tobias and I followed, and Roden took the reins, guiding the horses forward. At first, the trip was fun. Roden, Tobias, and I hadn't been able to do anything like this in a long time. To be honest, we hadn 't ever done something like this. Our lives were problem after problem, and that's what this trip was about. Visiting where things started. The points where our lives changed.

Starting in Drylliad, our first stop was Farthenwood. Although we were only there for two weeks, an incredibly short time, it would always be a place full of memories. Roden, Tobias, and I came here as enemies, bent on competing to be the boy Conner chose. We left as enemies too, but here we were, back again as friends.

When people realized Conner wouldn't be coming back, the whole place was raided, but in recent months I have worked to restore it, in the hopes that one day it might be used again, hopefully for less treasonous purposes. Mott had already expressed to me that he might be interested in helping to run it again. There was no one I trusted more to give it justice.

The three of us got out of the wagon, standing solemnly.

"Do we want to go in?" Tobias asked.

"No," was Roden's quick reply. We silently agreed. It wasn't the same now, it didn't feel right to go inside. We did walk around though, and I found the spot where I had argued with Cregan to let me ride the wild horse. I smiled faintly at the memory, then brushed my fingers along the stable wall. This was also where I had tried to explain to Imogen who I was, hoping she would forgive me.

I dug my fingers into the stone, and pulled myself up.

"Jaron, where are you going?" Tobias yelped.

"Getting the real Farthenwood experience!" I called down.

"How often did you climb the walls?" Roden asked.

"As often as I could." I sat on a small ledge not far up, so I could still talk to them without shouting.

"You could have ran," Tobias realized with a start.

His words haunted me more than he could have known. "And I considered it," I sighed.

Roden took a step forward, looking wildly at me. "You- despite knowing that you were the only one that could actually make a difference-"

"Yeah," I breathed, running a hand through my hair. I swung my legs in the air as I repeated, "I considered letting my country fall under Conner's rule, just for my selfish wishes of freedom and a carefree life."

It fell silent, so I climbed back down, then looked at the wall of Farthenwood again. "So much has changed here. It won't ever be the same."

We all knew I wasn't talking about the building. Conner and Cregan were both dead. That couldn't ever be changed. And I wasn't the orphan boy Sage anymore. Veldergrath, who had seemed like such a big threat at the time, had died simply of old age. The three of us had been through wars, but everything came back to Farthenwood and Conner. Everything, I realized. My entire life since I was born was caused by Conner.

That was a striking thought, but to my surprise, I didn't hold any resentment. I had come to understand Conner more and more in the past few years since he had died, and rather than hate him for all that he had done, I had to recognize that he had ended up saving my life, and Carthya with it. He had died for his country, proving that he truly was a patriot, just like he had always claimed. I couldn't ever forgive him, but I understood why he did what he did.

"No," Tobias agreed. "It won't ever be the same."

Roden took one more glance back, then said, "Let's go."