Spirit Animals One-Shots Vol. 1

Nightmare

Darkness overtook her mind. They were like terrible, icy claws gripping her chest and head and dragging her deeper and deeper into an ocean of turmoil. She could breathe, she couldn't speak, she could only scream silently under the waves and cry all the words left unspoken.

Ever since the day Meilin's father died, followed by her experience being under the influence of the Bile, she'd had nightmares like that. Where she was drowning in the dark, thick liquid, sinking further and further away from the light of the surface, dragged down by the invisible chains that once bound her to Gerathon.

At some point she'd given up, letting the vision of her father, lying bleeding on the ground, chest shattered by that awful crocodile, envelope her. Letting herself be captured, taken deeper and deeper until she was surrounded by nothing but her father and darkness. She wouldn't fight, because what was the point? She couldn't find one. It was hopeless.

But then, she'd see light. So faint she could hardly see it, but bright enough. She squinted her eyes and began to make out the images in the light. There, there she saw Jhi. The panda's arms were extended in to invite Meilin into her loving embrace. They always were, Meilin recalled. Just the sight of her big, black and white spirit animal sent a wave of comfort and calmness over Meilin's body. She also saw a familiar, tan face with that goofy grin she'd come to know and love. Her heart beat faster as she remembered him--the kiss, the flirty jokes, the safe, warm feeling of her hand in his. Another face was there. Her face was much darker, her bright eyes full of understanding and wisdom. They would always have sleepovers together, braid each others hair, teach each other the ins and outs of training with their respective weapons so they didn't rely on only their own areas of expertise. And a pale, freckled face was visible too. She remembered dark days in a tunnel, lit only by strange orbs and the boy's sad, weary smiles. All the strife they'd gone through together, all the encouraging words they'd share in their darkest moments. And suddenly, she understood the point.

Even after all she'd been through, all she'd lost, and the horrible ways she'd treated those around her, she wasn't alone. While those who didn't know her probably saw her as a heartless warrior longing for nothing but battle, they knew her. They knew her past, her present, her motives and desires, her hobbies and pet peeves. They helped her through her traumas and shared her victories. The point, if nothing else, was them. Without Conor and Abeke and Rollan and Jhi she wouldn't be here today. She would never have begun her path to healing, started to manage her anger issues, or survived some of the situations she was put in. They were there for her when her father passed. They never gave up on her when she was in Gerathon's coiled grasp.

They were there for her, and she would be there for them. Even if she died doing so.

She felt a surge of strength, and swam up with all her might. The light gave her new energy and life, and her blurry mind focused, staring straight through the gruesome images and the suffocating darkness to where her friends waited. Her limbs burned tiredly, and her lungs screamed for air, but she refused to stop. She refused to give up. The invisible chains kept getting heavier, trying to drag her back down into the depths of the Bile, but the only thought in her mind was her friends. Getting to her friends. She kept swimming and swimming, and even when she felt at the point of passing out, she didn't stop.

She finally saw the surface, the light blinding now. Happiness and excitement filled her chest, and hope flooded her. She was almost there, she just had to...

     When she broke the surface, she was suddenly on land, in a familiar landscape. Muttering Rock. She shuddered, and looked around, freezing in horror at what she saw. Jhi was crouched mournfully over Abeke. The girl was on the floor, her head bleeding and covered in bruises.

     "Abeke!" Meilin ran to her side, shaking her desperately. "Abeke! Abeke, wake up! Wake up! Please!" Tears pricked at her eyes, her friend unresponsive. She looked up at Jhi pleadingly, and just then noticed the state of the large panda.

     "Oh, Jhi..." Her black and white fur was matted with blood, her silver eyes sad and dull. The worst part was she was weighed down by chains. Large, heavy chains that hung from her limbs and neck, connected to huge weighted balls. It took all of the panda's energy just to stay upright.

     Meilin stood up, wanting to help her spirit animal, but found herself looking around instead. Where's Conor? As she reached a full 180, she was suddenly faced with Rollan. Meilin gasped.

     The boy was panting and bleeding on the ground with tears running down his face, caked in dust and blood. She looked into his eyes, and saw fear and desperation. No. No, no, no, no, no! She stepped forward to help him, but instead held her hands high above her head, a sword in her grip.

     Rollan went limp, eyes closed in preparation, trembling hand clasping the talisman against his chest. Meilin's own arms were tense, anticipating coming down on him to end him for good.

     "No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she cried out, her sight completely obstructed by tears now.

     "Meilin!" Gerathon's voice echoed in her head. It was scornful, mocking. "Meilin!"

     "Let me go!" Meilin screamed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" She sobbed, feeling Gerathon coiling around her mind, the snake's influence slowly forcing her muscles tighter and tighter, torturing her with apprehension.

     "Meilin! Meilin!"

     Meilin was struggling to put the sword down, to save Rollan from herself, but to no avail. The sword came down and she squeezed her eyes shut. "NO!"

     "MEILIN!"

     Meilin awoke with a jerk, covered in a cold, sticky sweat. Rollan was kneeling next to her on her bed, worry glittering in his brown eyes. Her breath came in sharp, ragged gasps, and she was shaking uncontrollably.

     "Hey, calm down," Rollan said. "It was just a dream." He took her hand in his, and she squeezed it back, not letting herself let go of him, scared that if she did he would disappear. He used his other hand to help her wipe away the tears that still lingered on her cheeks, that she hadn't noticed before.

"I- you- I-I killed you," she stammered, still choking on emotion.

"No, you didn't. I'm right here, see?" he tried to reassure her. He bit his lip, as if debating saying something. "Was it about the Bile...?"

She nodded hesitantly.

"Well, the Bile's gone now," he reminded her. "Gerathon can't control you anymore."

"But I hurt you," Meilin snapped. "And I hurt Conor and Abeke and Jhi..."

"That's in the past," Rollan said sternly. "We forgive you. We never blamed you. It's not your fault you were unknowingly given the Bile. The only one who hasn't forgiven you is you."

Meilin knew he was right, and hated it. She didn't want them to forgive her. After the way she'd treated them all, even without being under the Bile's influence... she didn't deserve to be forgiven.

"Why don't you summon Jhi?" Rollan suggested.

Meilin frowned and looked down guiltily. She wasn't sure she could bear to see the panda, not after seeing the poor, abused, chained creature in her dream. She shook her head. "I'm fine. You can go now, thanks for waking me up."

She tried to pull away, but Rollan was still holding her hand firmly. She turned back to him, surprised by a hug. She sat there in shock for a moment before hugging him back, fresh tears in her eyes.

"Why? Why would you forgive me, after all I've done?" she asked angrily, but didn't stop hugging him.

"Because you were already stressed, with Zhong's overtaking and your father's death... I know your lashing out wasn't meant to be aimed for us." A pensive silence passed between them. "And... because I love you."

Her heart leapt and her eyes widened. Her cheeks grew warm and a small smile etched its way onto her face. Even if he'd meant it only platonically, and she'd thought of him only platonically, she knew it wouldn't change her response.

"I love you, too."