Wolf Girl (Book 2)

Chapter 3: Carys

Carys' POV

I kneel down in the dark and search my mind for the spirits of Wolfbloods that came before. Jana taught me how to use Anceon behind her father's back. He'd be furious if he ever found out, he'd probably go to Ceri and Gerwyn in an attempt to get me sent to the Kronock. He's been nicer lately but he doesn't trust me yet, he's convinced everyone that cubs under 16 shouldn't use Anceon or Eolas, but doesn't bat an eye when Jana does it. Ceri agreed on that front, but even if I was caught using our powers I highly doubt she'd punish me for it.

I concentrate harder than I ever have. It's painful, not physically but emotionally, I can feel my mother's presence as if she were standing right next to me. Everything I felt the day she was killed comes flooding back to me. Worse than that, I can feel what my father felt. But worst of all I can feel what my mother felt. I feel the pain in her chest from the bullet, the sorrow of leaving my dad and me alone, and a sense of guilt and regret that I can't quite identify. I feel the exact moment she let go.

I see fuzzy visions of me on the night of my first transformation, right here in this cave. I had no clue we'd be anywhere near where we went on full moons.  I should have sensed it when we first arrived, but I guess my brain decided to block it out in an attempt to protect myself.

I see my second transformation, then my third, and that's when it happened. We were so excited when we left the cave, but dad wasn't. He'd always been right about his instincts.

The gunshot rings out, echoing through the cave walls. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I see her body, and dad ushers me back to the cave. To this cave. My heart breaks all over again when I relive the moment I realised that was the last time I'd ever see my mum.

I force myself out of Anceon and find myself lying curled up in a ball in the dark, my face wet with tears. A small beam of light streams through the cave entrance and shines on a puddle in front of me, it's no longer nighttime, the sun has come up and found its way to me.

The light disappears, and someone is standing there. I hear their footsteps approach.

"She's here!"

I hear the voice and smell the air; Gerwyn. Has he been searching for me? He crouches down at my side, but I can't move.

"Carys? What happened to you? Jana's been so worried."

Usually, a comment like that would have me running to Jana's side to reassure her that I'm okay. But in this instance, I don't move. Not because I don't care, but because there's nothing I can say to reassure her. Because I'm not okay, and the fear of not knowing what's happening to me has me frozen in place.

I don't say anything to Gerwyn. I don't even look at him when he scoops me up in his arms like I'm a cub. Like my dad did when I fell asleep on the sofa. He carries me out of the cave. I hear everyone swarming around me, the whole pack is away from the camp. They were all out looking for me.

I hear Jana's voice, "Carys?" She pushes past the crowd and looks at me.

I squeeze my eyes shut; hoping somehow that if I can't see her, she won't see me in the state that I'm in. She's seen me at my worst before, but this is different. I have no idea how to explain what just happened, and what's going through my mind right now. Plus, it's only a matter of time before my screwed-up life screws her up too, and I couldn't bare to watch her world fall apart.

Gerwyn lowers me to the ground and Jana crawls up beside me, taking my hands while I try to catch my breath, and I still can't look at her. Ceri kneels at my side.

"Cariad, what happened?" She looks down at my body, checking for injuries.

The only thing that hurts is my chest from straining to breathe and my head from all of the memories swarming around inside my mind.