Devil Inside

Sleepless Nights.

*A/N - For those following the soundtrack to this book try 'Sunburn' by Muse for this chapter :)*

The night of the accident was the first of many sleepless nights for Elsa. No matter what she did she just couldn't shut off and she spent hours just trying to remember how they had got out of the car, how it had righted itself when she knew it had been on its side and what exactly had happened after the fox ran out in front of them. She had managed to hide her miraculously disappearing bruising from her father and had been spending a lot of time alone in her room, quiet and withdrawn. Marcus had given her space and time to herself but he was worried about the effect of the accident on his daughter. He didn't know that Elsa was finding it increasingly difficult to be around him, around anyone. Despite her lack of sleep she felt wired, full of nervous energy, like she needed to do something. When she was near other people she felt hyper aware of them, as if she could sense what they were thinking and feeling, hear their hearts beating, see the tiny movements made by each and every muscle beneath their skin, feel the heat from their bodies. Her mind was on fire, her senses were reeling and she was overcome by waves of a terrible wanting feeling without having any idea what it was she yearned for.

“Elsa?” her father's voice came up the stairs. Elsa was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She sat up, then stood and looked at herself in the full-length mirror on her bedroom wall.

“What?” she called back, studying herself. Three nights of pretty much no sleep didn't seem to have done her any harm. There were no bags under her eyes, her skin was smooth if a little pale, her hair looked better than it probably ever had and she felt – fine.

“Kate is on the phone, she's home.” Elsa turned away from her reflection.

“I'll pick it up in my room,” she shouted and reached for the phone on her bedside table. Her hand paused over the receiver for a moment. She felt terrible for not visiting Kate in the hospital but she couldn't bring herself to go back, the smell of the place, the smell of blood and of all the people in there, it was just too much for her. She'd made it as far as reception before turning away, aware that in reality she was feeling drawn in. It felt wrong though, to be drawn to those smells, to the sounds of people in pain. She picked up the receiver, “Got it,” she said and heard the click of her father replacing the receiver downstairs, “Hi Kate.”

“”Hi Elsa,” Kate sounded different, there was none of her usual humour or exuberance, “Where have you been stranger?”

Elsa felt another pang of guilt, “I'm sorry,” she said, “I was going to come and see you but I just couldn't, I can't explain it, I'm really sorry.”

There was a pause, then Kate spoke again, some of the guarded tone gone from her voice, “Elsa, it's okay. I suppose we've all been a bit shaken up, I can understand you not wanting to be around me and Grant. Would have been good to see you though.”

“I know, I am sorry. How is Grant?”

“Good,” said Kate, “Loving all the attention his girlfriend is giving him. He feels terrible about what happened though. When you didn't come to see us, he thought it was because you blamed him for what happened.”

“What? No, not at all,” Elsa said in surprise, “The thought hadn't even crossed my mind.”

“I thought maybe you blamed me too,” Kate said quietly, “It was me that shouted out about the fox and made Grant swerve.”

“Don't be daft,” Elsa forced lightness into her tone, “It was an accident and besides, I wasn't even hurt, there's nothing to blame either of you for.”