please don't take my sunshine away...

Chapter Thirteen.

Playlist Song: you were good to me, jeremy zucker and chealsea cutler

get ready to scream, cry, laugh, and then cry again.

September 2012

I lay in bed for what seems like hours. Listening. Waiting. Thinking. I don't have Louis' small wrist watch to tell time so I'm living in what seems like a never ending world. My breath catches in my throat and the world spins around me. The amount of insanity running through my brain is insane. I stay awake. Sleep doesn't even cross my mind. Not without him beside me. I don't cry anymore. I have given my mind too much of my own novocaine to feel anymore. After what feels like a long time but was only about twenty minutes there is a knock on the door. It's light and quiet and I don't notice it the first time it happens but once the sound echoes through the house I slip out of the soft bed and down the hall to the front door.

The knocking gets louder and louder the closer I get to the large white door. No hope surrounds me, not like it normally would. I unlock it and the soft click of the door opening makes me feel at home for some reason. When I finally pull the door back all the way in the space it left is Louis. His hair is wet from the rain falling outside and his eyes are puffy and red. I don't smile and neither does he. He just stands there in the rain and looks at me. I look back at him. His eyes blue with the speck of green in the upper right corner. His lips are light pink and his nose and cheeks blush from the cool rain. Then I'm back. I feel tears form in my eyes and I let them fall. He's seen my cry too many times to be embarrassed. He walks over to me and pulls me into a tight hug. I cry into his shoulder and feel him do the same into mine.

We stand like that with the door and soft rain coming into the house. When he finally pulls away he puts both of his hands on my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine.
"I choose us," he says with his eyes closed. It comes out like a whisper. For the first time in hours my breath comes in and out smoothly.
"Every single time," he says, pressing his lips to mine. I kiss him back softly, running my fingers through his short hair. He pulls away softly and bites his lip. He's so goddamn beautiful. I cry again looking at him.
"Why are you crying darling?" he whispers, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"Because I thought I lost my whole goddamn world," I say.
"You will never lose me Haz," he says. "I'm right here," he places his hand over my heart.
"Never," he says, hugging me again.

We grab an umbrella and walk outside into the night. The sun is just starting to rise and the base of each tree is dusted with golden light. We walk in silence with our hands clasped together tightly. We walk all the way to the cliff that we like to visit from time to time. We both sit side by side and watch as the sun rises from the sea. Once the sun is high in the sky and the world is covered in golden Louis stands up. I stay sitting down and look up at him. The sunlight is covering his tan skin making him look like he's glowing.

"There is something that I have wanted to do for a while now," He says looking at me over his shoulder. He reaches down and picks up a piece of the long grass that is all around us. He walks back over to me and sits down. He takes my hand in his own and kisses it then he turns to face me and I do the same until we're eye to eye.
"Harry Styles," he says in disbelief.
"Louis Tomlinson,"
"I remember once you told me that I was sunshine," he says looking out at the sea and the sun. I blush and nod. "And then you said that you thought that you were a dying star," he looks back at me and smiles lightly.
"I'm here to tell you how you're wrong," I feel tears come back to my eyes and before they even fall he wipes them away.

"There are millions of people in this world, and there are billions of stars in the sky. Stars are all the same little tiny balls of gas, but you," he says. "You are much more special." I feel myself choke up and then tears fall in silence. He doesn't brush them away this time though and I think there is something even more special about that. He is okay that I am not okay. That I am sad. And that's what I love about him.
"I could name thousands of things that remind me of you because in fact there are so many things that you remind me of, because you are always on my mind." I chuckle slightly but he just looks at me in silence.
"Harry Edward Styles. You are not the sun and I think we can both realize that, and you are not the moon either. You are the happiness." tears stream down my face faster and Louis' cheeks are covered in tears of his own.