I'm Not A Runner

The Break Up

My head began to spin, I knew at this point that I  maybe had a bit too much to drink. I was having a rough time dealing with everything going on in my life. 

My fiancé, David Mayne, was being a complete and total ass. He developed a friendship with some stupid girl named Jane Gerry. She was skinnier than me, prettier than me and loved all of the same things he did. They spent everyday with each other and when they weren't physically together, they were texting each other 24/7. 

What hurt the most was that he KNEW what I was going through with the death of my grandfather, the stress of my job, the constant arguing of my aunts and uncles over my grandfather's business and of course everything going on with Covid 19. He continued to shut me out and push me away and replace me with a girl he met 2 weeks before we got engaged. 

I still remember that day like it was yesterday, my whole family and all of my friends were on a vacation celebrating my 22nd birthday. We had taken the boats on a little trip around the islands and parked up in a secluded bay. The music cut off and everyone was acting strange. I kept turning my head in all different directions trying to figure out what was going on and when I finally faced front again, there he was down on one knee with the most gorgeous gold ring decorated with a simple diamond on the top. I can't begin to describe how amazing it felt and I think that's what hurts the most right now. 

As I came back to reality, I took another swig of my beer and acted as though I was paying attention to the conversation my friends were having in front of me. Everyone was laughing and having a great time, couples were stealing small kisses and light touches with each other casually during the night and I sat there alone because my fiancé was off with his new friend Jane. 

Towards the end of the night he finally showed up, just as everyone was about to leave. He was already lying in our queen sized bed by the time I finished cleaning up our kitchen and dining room. I crawled into bed and tried starting a conversation with him to talk about how I was feeling.

"Babe can we talk?" I whispered. 

"I'm not in the mood, I'm tired I am not doing this right now Melanie."

"Please I need to get this off my chest I can't keep doing this! I've tried talking to you about how I feel multiple times over the last couple of months. You keep choosing her over me! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

With that I swiftly pulled the ring off of my finger and slammed it onto his stomach. 

"Pack all of your shit and get the fuck out of my apartment!" I yelled. Unable to control the waterfall of tears that now covered my plump cheeks. I rolled over on my side and let sleep overcome me. 

The next morning, I was rudely awoken by the pounding headache, one of the typical symptoms of my hangovers. I slowly opened my eyes to find my bedroom completely bare. Some empty drawers were still open, a cupboard completely cleaned out, his side of the bathroom counter looked as though  he was never there. He took lights and containers and pots and pans that his mother gifted us the Christmas just before. The little rat even took my vibrator. 

I felt betrayed and hurt and completely alone. I couldn't believe what was happening, what he had done. I knew he would have been hurt, I even expected retaliation but never in a million years did I expect him to clean me out completely. I didn't even know what to say to him at that point. I felt like my world was continuing to crumble around me but I knew at that moment that I made the right decision in letting him go. 

Despite the gigantic hole in my chest and the crippling headache, I had to put on a happy mask and go to teach the young, bright minds in my elementary class. I took a quick shower and put on my brightest outfit before darting out the door and jumping into my cherry red Mini Cooper. I listened to Cardi B, Nikki Minaj, Lizzo and Doja Cat on my way to work to hype me up and remind me of the bad bitch that I am. 

As I walked into my classroom and switched on the lights, I took a few deep breaths and tried to pace myself. I knew it was going to be an exhausting day but I also knew that I could never let my kids see that. The kids began to trickle in just as I was done setting up the work for that day. For the duration of the day they made me laugh and kept me smiling. At some points I even forgot about all the stupid shit that was going on in my life and a small peace of me felt genuinely happy. 

I cleaned up my classroom and locked up around 4 before jumping in my car to head home. I pulled out my phone to connect to the Bluetooth in my car and was shocked at the amount of missed class and messages I had received throughout the day. David and I had many mutual friends that he had already spoken to and he even reached out to some of my family members. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor before even attempting to sift through the messages that were genuine and caring and the ones that were mean and disgusting towards me. 

My mind began to race as I wondered what version of the truth he gave everyone. I was disgusted all over again and the small amount of peace I got from being with my students all day had now vanished as though it was never even there. 

I finally decided enough was enough and I reached out to him. 

"David can we talk?"

"I'm not ready to speak to you right now Melanie, you broke me!"

"You think I made this decision lightly? You think it was fun for me to watch the man I love shut me out and prance around with his brand new BFF? You think I want to lose the only person who knows the real me? You think I want to lose my best friend?"

Silence filled the air for a few seconds before he hung up the phone. He couldn't handle the truth and you know what, that made me angry. I decided to go to my friend's house for a girls night in to talk about what the hell was going on in my totally screwed up, messed up world.