No Mortician|| Larry AU

Part Two

I woke up again with an aching chest and sighed. Why couldn't I have stayed asleep?

It had been two weeks since Harry's death. The wedding was postponed, and I haven't spoken much to anyone since. The day I found out, I got a call from his mother and I crumbled to the ground, gasping for air and sobbing like an animal. Will ran to my side, asking what happened and took the phone from me. He cried too, but he didn't understand the agony I was in. To be honest, I didn't understand either. All I knew was that Harry took a part of me away with him when he decided to leave. But he'd never know that now.

His mother told Will over the phone that it was suicide- an overdose on sleeping pills. They didn't find him until the next day. Hours later, as I was curled into a ball, still shaking on the couch, Will sat next to me and told me that half. I broke once again, sobbing so hard that I had gotten sick all over myself and the sofa. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I cried into his chest. I had such a tight grip on his shirt because I needed something to hold on to as I watched my entire world fall apart.

"It's okay, baby. It's all okay." Will tried to comfort me as he rubbed my back softly. "Let's go clean up, okay?" He carried me bridal style into the bathroom and sat me down on the floor as I continued to cry.

"It's all my fault!" I cried into him.

"No, no it's not. Let me go turn the water on sweetheart." Will stood up and went over to the bathtub. He ran his hand under the water to make sure it wasn't too hot and then came over to me. He peeled off my clothes except for my boxers and then took off his tee shirt. He was wearing gym shorts so he left them on. He sat in the tub, and I joined him, barely able to see because of the seemingly never-ending tears flowing from my eyes. I curled into his chest again, wishing I could disappear. Softly, he ran a warm washcloth over my body and whispered comforting words into my ear.

Since that first night, I hadn't really let Will comfort me. He slept on the couch, understanding that I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk or be touched, and thankfully he respected that.

The situation had been taking a toll on my health, both mentally and physically. I couldn't sleep more than a scattered hour. I'd wake up, cry, try to calm down, run to the bathroom and get sick because of my nerves. Then Will would sit on the cold, tile floor across from me until I could breathe again. Then, I'd return alone to the bedroom. It was an awful cycle.

Gently, I lifted my weak body from the bed and padded into the bathroom. I took a quick shower, trying to keep my head empty the whole time. I had developed a habit of crying in the shower because of the privacy and the fact that the running water drowned me out. But I didn't want to today. I didn't want to be in here long and end up having Will intervene to check on me as he always did. I think he was afraid I'd do something rash. Although I'd honestly thought about it, I loved Will and my family and didn't want to put them through what I was dealing with.

I got ready and made my way into the kitchen to be greeted by a surprised Will who was overly sweet to me. The only reason I was going to attempt to eat something was because Harry's mom, Anne, had asked last night if I would come over to help her clean out his apartment today. It was going to be very hard, but I couldn't let her do it alone. I was so afraid though. I didn't want to stumble upon photos of us or gifts that I had gotten him. They were all just harsh reminders of this horrible situation that I was responsible for.

I was very quiet and unresponsive as I poured myself a cup of black coffee. I knew I should be polite after how much he was caring for me but I didn't have the ability to put on the mask right now. After swallowing down a few sips, I called Harry's mother and she said she was already there and waiting, so I left. On my way out, Will told me to be strong and that he loved me but I couldn't manage to speak, so I just nodded in reply.