Today, I overdosed on paracetamol. Though it sounds absurd and not serious at all, I am about to die. I won't tell my parents about this. I don't want it to be treated. As for the reasons why I'm doing this, I'm keeping it to myself.
So yeah, in 4-18, if this isn't treated, then I'm bound to die of toxicity... Hopefully...
It's been atleast 8 hours since I took 9 doses (4.5g) of paracetamol. The first symptom that I had was being tired. I wanted to sleep, but I can't. It's also been 2 days since I've slept. I've talked to my friends about this, they told me they care and I know they actually do, but this pain is hard for me to bare.
I can't stand it anymore, where did it all go wrong? I don't wanna remember. Who am I talking to anyways? I think I'm going worse for wear. I wanna be happy. I wanted to be, but the hurdle was too high to reach.
If you think I'm selfish and I think the world revolves around me, go ahead. I won't condone you.
See, ever since I was a kid, I've always hated myself, I don't wanna tell you why.
Mental illness is a serious issue, but from where I live, they don't take it seriously. I told my dad how hard it is for me to live and instead of listening, he just went mad. After that, I've sworn to myself that I'm never gonna tell anyone about how I feel. And now look, I'm in deep pain, waiting to die.
I have friends, but I feel lonely as hell. Hobbies don't even get me satisfied or interested anymore. Now I don't know what to do, and I don't know what I want.
Loving people is the hardest thing for me. I always put my everything to it, but never been repaid the same amount. I always thought that I could bare it, but in the end, I can't. My efforts deemed worthless, and now I'm falling slowly into the bottomless pit of nothingness.
Anyways, now I'm starting to feel pain, I'll stop here for now. See you tomorrow, my pain.
