Chapter Twenty-One

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Xavier

After switching off with Rhonda, I went straight behind the counter. I wanted a wall to separate me from Dominick, and to make sure he felt the distance I felt.

Even though I couldn't help but fall into his arms for a minute when I saw him. I just needed to feel that comfort and protection while the earth was literally shaking beneath me.

Dominick frowned and pressed his fingers against his temples. He looked very tired, like he had aged on that short trip. "I'm trying to think of something I could do to right this, but I know the garden is already gone."

"It's what it is," I said, crossing my arms. "Georgia and I spent the weekend mourning the place. Even saved a few plants that we transported into our gardens."

Dominick nodded. "Still, it's a loss."

"You don't know the half of it," I said. "It has just about torn the business association in half, too." I sat back on the stool. "You should avoid the café while you're in the neighborhood, by the way."

"I can go back to the office," he said with a hoarse voice. "Get to the bottom of this."

"No," I said. "That won't help anything." I sighed and summoned my strength, clenching my fists at my side. I'd been thinking all weekend about what to say to him, but still, the words were lodged in the back of my throat like a sticky piece of taffy.

"It's not just the garden. It's the fact that I spent the whole weekend wishing I could call you but knowing you weren't available. I'm really excited about the time we're spending together, and maybe it doesn't mean that much to you, but it does to me." I took in another deep breath to steady myself. "It takes a lot out of me to do what we're doing, and I'm not sure I can keep doing it with someone who has one foot out the door."

I realized my muscles were tense as a board, and I forced myself to release them. Better to face things now, I figured, than when the summer came and he left for good. If we ended it, I would at least save myself from the heartbreak that would follow a year of tortured emotions.

Dominick stepped forward, then paused at the counter. He tapped his knuckles on the surface and met my eye. "It does," he said.

"It does what?"

"It means a lot to me, too," he said, his voice low and deep. "More than you'll probably believe, actually."

I shook my head, not able to hear it. "If that were true, the garden would still be there."

He grimaced but kept nodding. "I can understand why you would feel that way. But I can tell you this. I just spent the whole weekend chasing problems back and forth across the island of Manhattan, and I came into work this morning without a wink of sleep, and still, I came straight to you, the second I could." He paused, and I realized the muscles on the side of his neck were strained. His beard was tighter and closer than usual, probably trimmed for the trip, but his eyes had the same intense flash to them. "I know what I want," he said.

How many times had I imagined Dominick Russo saying something like that to me? More than I could count. Like dreams, they all blended together.

I ran my tongue slowly across my lips and tried to calm my accelerating heart. "I just don't know," I said. "Everything is upside down."

Dominick leaned forward on the counter, still holding his eyes steadily to meet my gaze. "Then let me turn you right side up again, Xavier."

I blinked, and my fingers curved into my thighs. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Come with me," he said. "When Rhonda gets back. I understand that you need to rebuild your trust in me, and I would never ask you to open up until you're ready. But let me show you something. I think it will help."

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