Camera Shy

C-40 - over exposure.

For the last few hours I've been sitting in my bay window, watching the guys perform for their comeback video. They have spent the last two days using various locations and today is the last day of filming. 
"I thought you were coming down over an hour ago. They need you down there. Have you seen how frazzled David is getting?" Amy laughs as she walks over and joins me. 
"They don't need me down there. I was just in the way earlier." I shrug, knowing that wasn't exactly true.
In fact, they asked me to stay but instead, I had convinced Amy to stay and oversee wardrobe so that I could avoid the stares and whispers from the other workers who came in specially for the video. The choreographer was particularly whispery with the camera man when I came to adjust one of the poses. 
As soon as my eyes reach her face, my heart sinks. My gaze instantly falling onto the stitches on her head. Catching my gaze, her hand adjusts her hair so that it covers over the wound. 
"Stop it!" She says sternly and I let out a small smile. 
"Stop what?" I ask, forcing my attention back to the guys who are now in the pool, miming away to the music as water drips down their chests.
"My stitches aren't your fault." 
"They were trying to hurt me, but instead they got you.... I wish it had been me." I sigh.
Amy stands and lets out an annoyed, frustrated groan. 
"You need to snap out of this Jamie! The guys need you. I need you. You are hiding up here, admit it! You did the same thing after your dad hurt your mum and you moved. I remember how nervous you were and how shy you acted around others, and now you are sliding back into old habits. I can see it and it must be becoming obvious to the guys too. But I don't think it's because you're afraid this time. It's just easier than standing up and embracing the change." 
I spin to face her and my words come out harsher than I'd planned. 
"I am not hiding. I have a headache!"
Without realising it, my hands start waving all over the place as a build up for a rant starts.
"I didn't choose for my face to be out there on social media. I didn't want to be in front of the camera and now it is, and the people I love are suffering for it! My mum's getting hate mail addressed to me. You have a stitched-up head and the guys... These amazing guys have fans trying to shut down their comeback gig, because of me."
"NO! It's because of Chloe, and we will crush her." 
I start to chuckle.
"How? Parker tried to get the real footage and it was already 'deleted'. She has won, and I will never be accepted because the world thinks that I attacked her. The guys will be much better off if I just walk away."
I face away from her. 
"Jamie.... what does that mean? What are you planning?" Amy asks as she steps closer, following my gaze which is on Reece, smiling and joking with David. 
"They'll be going on tour soon. After the gig, we are telling them. When they go, I'm staying and eventually, Reece will move on. There will be lots of girls to capture his attention when he's traveling." I say with tears in my eyes.
"You can't tell them Amy. Their concert is almost here, and I don't want to ruin it, more than I have already."
"You know I'll support you, but Jamie, he loves you. He will fight for you until his last breath." 
"Not if he can't find me. And if there's one thing I'm good at, it's hiding." 
My phone starts ringing and interrupts the silence that now lingers between us. It's my mum checking on me and letting me know my dad has issued a short, direct message to the press. 
'Jamie, I can't express how much I am truly sorry. I am still here, at your first home, and I will wait for you to come to me. I have nothing else to say to you people about my daughter. Leave her be.' 
Amy smiles.
"Does this change anything?"
"No."

I head downstairs and find David to watch the footage that was taken so far today whilst I plaster a fake smile on my face. By late afternoon, the shoot is finished and the guy's laze around the pool exhausted. Reece is napping on my lap as I re- read the same chapter of my book repeatedly, struggling to take any of it in.  
The following morning, they head to a music camp arranged by David. It's boys only, to keep their focus solely on the music. They will be completing various tasks in preparation for the upcoming concert, which is now merely days away. 
I spend the days in the office, finalising details and dealing with any concert related complaints. Not remotely annoying when they are mostly about you viciously attacking Chloe, and how disgusting it is that I'm continuing to work for the band under those circumstances.
The response I give to those is a bland, blanket answer – "I completely understand your concerns, and the band and management thank you for getting in touch with us and expressing them."
The response I say in my head - "I personally don't care what you, or the psychopath Chloe, think or want. Please write your opinions on some paper and shove it up your ass."
I may have accidentally mixed those responses up once or twice...