the cut that always bleeds

the spark

June 11th
Luca climbed his way up the tree next to Massimo's house, and strained as he pulled himself up to Giulia's "hideout". The sun had only just begun to rize on the horizon, and the air still had a chill to it. Luca felt himself shiver, and he focused his attention to the closed window parallel to the hideout. The room that once belonged to Giulia, Alberto now occupied.
The room was a mess, wood carvings scattered on the floor, letters from Genova were pinned recklessly to the walls, and dirty clothes were piled in the corner. Small wood figures were laid gently on a desk, with a small carving knife placed beside them. On the corner of the desk, surprisingly, was a small pile of books. Alberto attempted to pass time by slowly, but surely, teaching himself to read. Anything that could make conversation with Luca last longer, he did. He loved seeing the look on Luca's face when he brought up a random fact he had read about, or an idea he had gathered from a recent reading.
Luca peered into the room, the only light being a candle, still lit from the previous night. With one glance to his right, Luca caught sight of Alberto, sprawled out on his bed right beside the window. Luca gently pushed the window open, and moved carefully onto the floor of Alberto's room. With a few creaks of the floorboard, he made his way over to Alberto's bed, and crawled up on the end. He paused as the bed squeaked with the change of pressure, and eventually crawled his way up to where Alberto was. Luca grinned as he made his way under the covers.
His arms made their way around Alberto's waist, hoping to wake him, and to Luca's surprise, Alberto was warm. Incredibly warm. With one peek under the sheets, Luca was made aware of Alberto's lack of a shirt.

Luca felt his entire body heat up, and all of a sudden a sick feeling appeared in his stomach. In a moment of realization, making note of the feeling of his hands against Alberto's bare waist, he jolted backwards. His arms removed themselves from Alberto as quickly as he had placed them there.
"Mmph.."
Luca's eyes shot up from Alberto's waist, up to his head, which to his dismay, was turning. Alberto rolled over, his eyes still shut. After a quick squinting motion, his eyes blinked open.
Luca was staring at him, his face bright red, the red undertones in his eyes appearing brighter than ever before. Alberto didn't speak, just stared, blinking a couple of times. Luca remained as close to the wall as he could, trying to create as much space as possible. Alberto smiled slightly, before closing his eyes again, opening his mouth to speak.
"Morning, Luca." His voice lower than usual, sending shivering down Luca's body.
Luca let out an exhale, just then Alberto's eyes shot back open.

"LUCA?"
Alberto jolted upwards, pulling his bedsheets over himself. His face nearly matching Luca's crimson cheeks. He scattered backwards, attempting to cover himself as best as possible.
"What on EARTH are you doing here?"
Luca threw his arms up in defense, moving out from underneath the blanket.
"I just came in to wake you up, and you looked so peaceful so-"
Alberto's gaze remained locked on Luca, and let out a sigh.
"God, man, nearly gave me a heart attack."
Luca watched as Alberto pushed the blanket off of himself, and stood up. He found himself admiring the constellations on his skin again, the way they moved just slightly everytime Alberto bent his arm, or leaned over something. The scars from fishing accidents seemed more prominent than ever. The only noise that filled the room was the rustling of the blanket as it fell off of the bed when Alberto stood up to grab something from across the room. It was only when Alberto pulled his normal tank over his torso that Luca snapped out of it.
"You okay? You look a little tired."
Luca's eyes moved upwards, where he found Alberto already staring at him. He swallowed hard.
"Oh yeah, my parents just wanted to talk a LOT last night. I'm a little worn out."
Luca was moved upwards as the bed shifted underneath him when Alberto took his place beside him.
"If you're worn out we can just stay in for the day, hang out on the hideout maybe? You can tell me more details about your time away from home."
Luca felt the nerves in his chest calm down, Alberto was normal.
Things were normal.
Now get those stupid constellations out of your head.
Luca laid down on the bed, his legs still dangling over the edge.
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to just relax for a bit. I think I need a minute."
Alberto grinned, allowing himself to collapse next to his friend, his head turned to face Luca.
"Yeah, for sure."
Luca shut his eyes, taking in the comfort of being beside Alberto, and subconsciously turning his body towards him.

"You know, I did want to talk to you today about something."
Luca opened his eyes, and watched Alberto curl himself up just slightly, tucking his legs up higher, and resting his hands up by his face.
"What about?"
Alberto took in a deep inhale, glancing off to the side.
"You know how you were talking about how some stuff happened while you were in Genova? Well, some stuff happened here too."
Luca folded his hands under his head, listening intently.
"Oh? Like what?"
Alberto held out a pinky.
"Promise not to judge me?"
Luca wrapped one of his pinkies around Alberto's, giving him a smile.
"I promise."
Alberto shut his eyes, speaking quietly.

"You weren't the only person to kiss someone."
Luca gasped, before a huge grin spread across his face.
"No. Way. Who? How?"
Alberto laughed, covering his mouth.
"Shush, I don't want Giulia to hear. Well, this is the big part. Ya know, who I kissed."
Luca inched closer.
"Come on, Beto. Who was it? Was she pretty?"
Alberto grimaced, taking in a sharp breath through his teeth.

"He was handsome."

Luca's eyes went wide with shock. For a moment, they just stared at each other, and Alberto was trying not to break into a nervous sweat.
"You kissed a guy? On purpose?"
Suddenly, he couldn't stop the nervousness from showing anymore, he couldn't look at Luca.
"Yeah, I- we kissed on purpose. I liked him. I-"
Luca couldn't speak, he only stared, and for some inexplicable reason, felt himself grow incredibly nauseous.

"I like boys, Luca. I only like boys."
Alberto felt his stomach drop as Luca only let out one word.

"Oh."

He felt cold, wanted to run out of the room, escape. The comfort he normally felt beside Luca was vanishing, and he wanted to get out, and fast. Suddenly the blanket underneath him was no longer comfortable, the room was suddenly growing more and more warm, only to grow cold again. He was going to be sick.

"How did you find that out?"
Alberto's head whipped right back to look at Luca, who was biting his lower lip, his eyebrows upturned.
"How did I what?"
Luca cleared his throat, looking away from Alberto.
"You know, discover that you like boys."
Alberto felt fire spread across his face and he smiled.
"Oh, how do I word this. Well, I felt kinda nervous and nauseous around guys, I never get that way around girls. One day I just felt like I SHOULD kiss this guy, and I...did. And it was really nice, it felt right. I've tried with girls too, but it just isn't the same."
Alberto saw the light in Luca's eyes and continued.
"I found myself daydreaming about them, wanting to hold their hands, cuddle up beside them, kiss them, be close to them. It was nothing I had ever felt before."
Luca remained motionless, staring off at seemingly nothing, his eyebrows furrowed.
"You just started...kissing guys? And you liked it?"
Alberto awkwardly chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"That's one way to word it, yes."
Luca looked back at Alberto, with a new kind of light in his eyes. Alberto's face grew increasingly red as he realized how close they were. Those familiar butterflies made an unfriendly appearance in his stomach.

'Not now, Bruno.'

Alberto's breath hitched, Luca wasn't looking away. He couldn't breathe. It burned too much to breathe, he couldn't move, he was paralyzed.
'Is he-'
Luca grew closer, and Alberto shut his eyes.

Alberto felt the air pushed out of his lungs as Luca's arms wrapped around his torso, and Luca's head laid in the crook of his neck.
"I'm so proud of you, Beto. That's amazing."
Alberto put one arm around Luca's waist, nuzzling his head against Luca's.
"Thank you, Luca."
Alberto smiled, and tried to push back the butterflies that had now overtaken his stomach completely.