Past These Tears

The week had been hell, Bakugo didn't know why the teachers at U.A hated them at the moment but they did, no other reason for this hellllll.

It was Saturday night and he was in Pikachu's room with the other idiots, they were all really subdued even in their high spirits, we were all still tired despite sleeping most of the day away.

He looked over and watch as Shitty Hair sat between Pinks and Pikachu with a low blush on his face, as they both got into the story that they were telling him, Bakugo caught Tapeface's eyes and they shared a smirk.

Two weeks ago Pinks AND Pikachu confessed to Shitty Hair and both told him to really think about which of them he wanted to date and he'd been a mess since.

Eiji had the biggest crush on Mina in first year then he had short circuited his brain when Denki flirted with him.

And as well as his friend knows Bakugo, he knows his friend... He sighs internally, because he just knew he was going to be the one consoling the other Blond in the room.

His face must've made some expression because suddenly all eyes were on him. There was an unusual serious to the atmosphere of the normally hype group and he already knew what was coming,

"Hey Baku-bro... we were wondering..." Eiji starts looking at the others

"Why haven't you done anything about the massive ass crush you got on Mido-bro?" Denki rushed in to finish and I freeze.

There weren't a lot of choices in this moment and Bakugo knew if he chose not to answer they would respect his wishes.

Maybe it was the tiredness.

Maybe it was their honest expressions.

Maybe it was the fact that these people were the first friends he had outside of Izuku that chose to look past his explosions and attitude and see him... and want him anyway.

Or maybe it was this bone deep exhaustion that made this weight unbearable to hold alone anymore.

He opened his mouth and it all came out,

"I don't deserve him..." I whisper, "I was awful to him, I bullied him, I- I told him to kill himself," I heard gasps all around but I pushed myself to continue, "I remember shaking so much when I apologized to him.... And the fucking idiot that he is cried.. he fucking cried when I apologized, big fat stupid fucking tears and that's when I knew, that he thought that I would never apologize that we would just put it all behind us and move forward.

And it shocked him so much to realize that I wanted to make amends that he was brought to tears. You know that's the reason he's stopped flinching when I'm around? Because he only then finally believed that I wouldn't hurt him anymore." I let out a little gasp and I could already feel the tears in my eyes.

"Katsuki-" he heard a trembly voice but his eyes was to blurred to see who it came from

"Crush? No ..nothing that tame, nothing that innocent. I know all the places to tickle until he loses his breath, I know what he's thinking all the time even when he doesn't, I learned to make Katsudon because it's his favorite, my costume was inspired from the hero drawings we did as kids,

I remember when he promised to be my wife when we were four years old," I let out a wet sound and a little laugh

"And I would always hear the hag call my dad 'hunni' but my little brain thought 'bunni' was cuter so that's what I called him when we played house, I don't even think he remembers but he was my first kiss, something we saw on tv and we repeated it like children do but it was my first kiss and I've never had another,

I know that I can't pinpoint exactly when I started feeling like this because there had never been a me that didn't love him,

Even when I let my insecurities fog my brain," I take a shuddering breath, "that's when this all started, I know you guys know that his quirk came really late so for a long time we all thought he was quirkless but I knew the truth... I still didn't know he had a quirk when we took the entrance exams and when he passed I wasn't surprised,

Because I knew when I was five years old that Izuku, little crybaby, quirkless Izuku had the heart of a hero. And all I've done is chase him since. Yea I talk about Allmight and other heroes but he's the one I'm chasing, the one I've always been chasing,

And I was so horrible because I couldn't take it, I was so insecure and I barely deserve to be forgiven, I BARELY DESERVE TO BE HIS FRIEND!!" I choke out now gasping with my tears

"I can't love him," the little whisper breaks the silence of my outburst, "because even if by some miracle he feels the same, he deserves the world and not a piece of shit like me."

I let out a shuddering breath and glance up at a room full of people I call my friends, and I was shocked, because those fucking idiots were crying with me.

There was a knock on the door that had all of us whipping our heads to it as it opened and in the doorway was a teary eyed Jirou,

"I didn't mean to listen in," and it was as though that's what they needed because they all converged on him and he was at the bottom of a tear filled group hug/pile.

He started to laugh, "I have no idea when I'm going to say this again so listen up you fuckers, I love all of you and thank you so much for wanting me in your life and being my friends." If possible the wails got louder, intermixed with laughter.

This was the lightest Bakugo had ever felt in years.

"Allright, alright, enough tears," Jirou said

"Ahhhhh Denks you got snot on my shirttt!!!" Sero yelled out causing everyone to burst into laughter.

As everything quieted down and they all gave him soft words of affection and motivation. And soon after that, they all swore that they didn't all just burst into tears like babies.

Katsuki sat there looking at his self-proclaimed 'BakuSquad' and thought about how he and Izu were finally friends again.

'If this is all I have, until the end of my days, I don't need anything else.'