In Want of Some Porcelain

Chapter 4: Cat Suspension

Ren: "*sigh*"

The limbs of this martial artist are stuck in place, thanks to the tape that bounds them to the wall, making Ren essentially just a fly.

Yang: "Hmph! Finally got rid of that obnoxious character! And that horrible blabbering!"

Ren: "I've bare-"

Yang: "Name's Yang Xiao Long! I'm a take-over artist, wanted in 30 kingdoms for hijacking fiction!"

"Everyone's seen my face out at the club for terrorizing those employee-of-the-month Malachite twins. If this is the first time you've had a story hijacked, buckle up, because I'm in charge!"

*crickets*

Yang: "You are supposed to clap! Why aren't you clapping for me!"

Still no one claps.

Yang: "Excuse me! I said that I was in charge! And as the leader of this charade I order you to clap!"

Her lilac eyes stare at the rest of the crew with just the smallest hint of red tint washing over them.

Blake's eyes go wide and she suddenly starts clapping excitedly, convincing the others to begrudgingly start their own show of "excitement".

Ruby: "Yeah sis! Let's go! You can totally do it!"

Despite the obvious mismatch between the surface display and the true feelings of all the other members, Yang's mind either doesn't notice or deliberately ignores it all, and she resumes her spiel as dictator of this new amateur production.

 

Yang: "You are all way too kind. As leader, my first act is to get Vomit Boy down here and beat that obliviousness out of him, no matter what it takes!"

Nora: "How in the world do you-"

Yang: "No one talks while I'm talking! I have just the plan to get this knight down here! Blake, fetch me the rope in your cabinet!"

Blake: "W-w-what rope?"

Yang: "You thought I didn't know about the rope? Nice try Blake, but I know more of your secrets than you think. Now get the rope!"

With a face a quite interesting shade of red, she reluctantly gets into the cabinet and gets out the ropes. She presents them to Yang like an Aztec offering up a human heart to the gods, desperately hoping for acceptance.

Yang: "Alright! Now I'm gonna tell you exactly what's about to happen! I'm gonna set these ropes up and you, miss kitten, are going to be captured! And tied up in these ropes! Our knight in shining armor will come and save you from this horrible trap, and you will use your irresistible booty to jump his bones!"

Blake's expression has shifted to one of pure horror. Jesus Christ, how unhinged is she? Before she can vocalize this, a completely opposite reaction sails through the crowd...

Ren: "Can you at least untie me first? I really want to-"

Yang: "NO! And just for that little insubordination, you get to be my brand new assistant! Think up other ideas and write them down on this paper, ninja boy!"

Ren: "But I'm sti..."

He realizes mid-sentence that Yang has already stopped paying attention and has already begun to set up the ropes. The other two members of NPR slowly walk up to Ren, ready to help him out.

Ren: "Why are you girls letting thi-"

Nora + Pyrrha: "Morbid curiosity."

Ren: "I don't believe you people..."