In Want of Some Porcelain

Chapter 1: The Spartan's New Gig

Jaune: "Hiyah!"

The last Grimm for miles dissipates into a puff of smoke as Jaune finishes it off with a brutal slash right through the chest. The Emerald Forest sure is a good place to let off some steam. Lord knows he needs it after being beat by Cardin in sparring class for about the... you know what it doesn't matter. He's winless and needs a pick-me-up, and those Grimm are all too perfectly placed to do just that.

Jaune: "Phew! I feel great! Now to get back to the dorm a-"

The sound of mud crashes his thoughts for a moment. He looks down, and he is absolutely covered with the stuff. Areas of exposed skin are almost painted brown with how bad it is.

He dares to touch his face. Luckily, only small specks of mud come off, so at least he doesn't have to feel like Predator out there. Nonetheless, this will simply not do! Jaune knows he's gotta get this goop off of him if he wants to look anywhere near presentable. He runs back off to the dorms with mud flying off of him from every possible angle.

Less than five minutes later, he's rushing through Beacon's big double doors, barely taking any time to wipe his feet. It's a miracle that no one is around in the hallways to watch this freakshow. The lock on the JNPR door can not open fast enough as he speeds by and jumps straight into the bath, not caring about the looks that NPR send his way. All three of them cover their ears as the door shuts so loudly that the air almost screams in agony.

After making sure their ears are not completely fried, the conversation that the three hunters were having earlier resumes.

Pyrrha: "*sigh* He never gets any of the hints! How many times to I have to 'accidentally' brush him before he gets it!"

Nora: "Fearless Leader doesn't know you're roughing him up on purpose! Have you considered just shoving th-" A magical hand suddenly appears over Nora's mouth, stopping what would have surely been an insightful idea dead in its tracks.

Ren: "She means, have you considered being more direct. Jaune has never been good at getting the hint. Just ask Weiss."

Pyrrha cringes at the memory of that. Muffled laughter joins the cringefest.

Ren: "So, why not just tell him directly? I'm sure he won't say no."

Pyrrha: "But I'm afraid Ren! What if he doesn't see me like that?"

Ren: "How will you know unless-"

His hand suddenly bolts away from Nora's mouth, with the middle three fingers clearly covered in spit. He sighs a very disappointed sigh and goes to fetch a rag to wipe that off. Clever girl.

Nora: "As I was saying, why not just shove those boobs right in his face! There's no way Jaune is THAT oblivious!"

Pyrrha: "But I can't just go in there naked!"

Nora: "Then don't! Just get your best seductive pose out and beg him for it!"

Ren: "Nora, I think that'll just scar-"

Pyrrha's eyes suddenly flicker like a lightbulb.

Pyrrha: "I got it! I know just the way! Thanks Nora, you sure are a lifesaver!"

She walks toward the unlocked door with the glint still clearly visible in her eyes.

Ren: "Oh no..."

Ren's mind is running through the various possibilities that could result from what's about to go down. And none of them are good... he sighs yet another disappointed sigh and just hopes this doesn't spiral out of control... While Nora slides up next to him stuffed to the brim with glee.