This goes out to a girl that I truly admire and I wish the best for in life because she is a great, beautiful, and a lovely person that I hold dear to my heart and hope the best for in everything she does. Stay Strong Beautiful <3
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I walk down the halls getting greeted with high fives from every one and on every side of the halls. I made it to my locker while talking to all my friends at the same time and getting my books for class. As I look around at the faces surrounding me I couldn’t think of a life better then the one I’ve got. I have a loving family, friends that care about me and my feelings, the whole school on my side, and to top it all I have my best friend Emmy that will always be there for me. I go through all of my classes till I get to lunch where things always seem to go up for me. I walk through the double doors as the smell of meatloaf seeps into my nose. Most call it mystery meat because the true contents of it are truly unknown. I walk through the constant chatter of the worn down and used lunch tables to reach mine that doesn’t vary from any of the others around it. As I laugh with all my friends it feels so good to know there are people out there that care enough about me to know me as me and no one else. When lunch ends I try to make my way down the crowded halls to my next classes while bumping into so many people I lost track, but getting to my destination none the less. As I walk through the doors of my home I go straight upstairs so I can get the sleep I need to be ready for the next day. As I close my eyes to go asleep I hear a beeping sound ring through my ears. As I open my eyes to se what it is all I can see is the pattern of my ceiling looking back at me.
I take a minute to grasp the fact that the life I was just living isn’t real and probably never will be. I sigh and get out of my bed that still contains my warmth of the previous night to go take a shower. I walk over to the bathroom while listening to my old floor boards creek and moan as I walk over them to reach the other side of the room. I turn the water on and watch it fall down to the bottom of the bath to be dragged away by the current into the drain starting the cycle all over again someday. As I feel the warm water run down my back and through my toes I couldn’t help but think about the dream I had just had only moments ago. Wishing I could have something like that is something I have always dreamed of and hoped for, but being realistic means that won’t be happening to me anytime soon.
I finish scrubbing my hair and step out of the shower to feel the cotton that belongs to the shower mat in between my toes peeking up through like grass trying to grow through the sidewalk. I dry off and step back over the creaking floor boards to walk to my closet holding the contents needed to continue my morning before school. Grabbing my usual outfit of black skinnies, navy blue shirt under my black leather like jacket with a gray zip up sweatshirt under it with the hood sticking out the back. I run down the stairs listening to my feet pounding down the stairs as I try not to make to much noise while still attempting to catch the bus on time. I go to the cabinet to get my smore poptarts out of their package to be put into the toaster. I go over to the shoe rack shivering in the cold of our mud room while putting on my black Vans with the white laces seeing as they are my favorites. I then hear my poptarts go off with a pop signaling me to retrieve them. I take them out as the heat quickly spreads from my breakfast to my hands burning them in the process. I run out the door while I put in my music just as the bus peaks over the horizon headed to its next stop being me. I step on to the bus as it is like school only on wheels. Without saying a thing I listen to the conversations around me that can still be heard through my headphones. Sometimes I wonder if people think before they speak, or what they say just comes out in random bursts of words that have no meaning or point behinds them. I didn’t need to hear anymore seeing as their pointless comments where hurting my head so I just turned up my music tuning the whole world out until it was just me, myself, and I.
Walking down the halls after going through an agonizingly long bus ride is another problem that faces its own complications. Trying to find your place in the current of people is challenging, then comes the task of keeping up with the varying paces. As you reach your destination you must fight your way back through the current you just entered.
I enter the first class of the day not surprised that no ones eyes turn to see me walk in. I sit in the seat that so many have used before me and some many more to come as the teacher talks to the class about things we should know yet no one is paying attention. I finish my worksheet and wait for the bell to ring signaling the right to go to the next class. I walk down the halls with my headphones still in as the snickers and whispers of my class mates still seem to make their way into my ears. I hurts to know that non one is on your side. Sometimes you just with that someone was there and someone understood, but I don’t have that.
Going into this next class is always been my favorite because the teacher always talks to me even though she knows she will get no reply. It makes me feel wanted and I even crack a smile sometimes which seems to make her smile to. I walk in and no eyes meet mine again, but I am used to it so it doesn’t really bother me at this point I don’t like it when people look at me anyway. My teacher gives me a smile and greets me not bothering to ask how I was or how my day has been because she doesn’t have to and she knows that. leaving that class seems to be the hardest because for an hour and a half I feel like someone understands me and someone cares.
On my way home I cram my bottom into a seat with two other children while avoiding the stains and spots from who knows what. I get off at my spot to go inside to get some peace and quiet. With my music now out of my ears it fills the room with the beats of a song that could anything to anyone. My parents will be home soon and I feel bad that I don’t speak with them as often, but I just don’t feel like my words will make a difference so I just don’t say them. Even if I dis say something no one would be around to hear it. As I go on my laptop to do my homework the constant clicking of the keyboard reminds me of the day I just went through and the things that happened. I clearly remember a few more people judging me in the halls and a short percentage gain in whispers and laughs sent my way. Some kid called me mute and said that he didn’t even think I talked. I know I can talk, but do you honestly think that your words are going to change anything? Unless you are Martin Luther King Jr. who stopped discrimination against blacks, or Abraham Lincoln who gave inspirational speeches left and right I don’t think your words will have that much affect on anything. As my eyes start to fall closed and my mind starts to wonder I know sleep will take me soon just to start the cycle all over again.
As I awoke the next morning I got out of bed and repeated the same process as the day before except something felt different about today. As the dream I just woke up from replayed in the back of my mind I walked out of my house with my shoes and breakfast ready to start the day.
I make it through the hallways and to the seat of my first class. The seat hadn’t changed since I had been there the day before with the same squeaks and sounds as you sat down, but I felt as though I had changed since my last visit. I sit through class and walk out the door as the signal is sent through the whole school. I make my way to what is my favorite class of the day and that reason has come to my attention now. As I step through the door I feel some eyes on me for a change and the teacher saying hello as always, but what none of the blank staring faces in that class room could of prepared them for what was to come. I looked at the teacher and smiled while I said “Hi.”
