Sometimes people can't help being heroes and Percy is one of those people.
After a life of adventures and quests, Percy thought she'd want to do normal things. But after stopping a woman from bleeding out on the streets of Manhattan, she became ent...
My hands shook as I pulled on my Black Canary hoodie. I'm fine. I'm fine. Slipping my arms out, I wrapped them tight around my stomach. It'll be fine. Will and Chiron and everyone do this all the time. And for so many more people. I can handle this. I can.
So why was that weight still there?
The hard edges of my phone pressed against my hip. I could call her. Tell her I couldn't do this, that I wanted to be back with them on the Watchtower or even just the Hall of Justice. I pulled it from my waistband.
Staring down at the screen, at the picture of me and Canary with Diana helplessly roped in, I swallowed. I couldn't. She was counting on me. Some part of me knew she wouldn't care, that she just wants me to be happy, but another part of me, the part that keeps me doing things for the gods, told me I needed to do this. Prove my worth. I shoved it into my pocket, ignoring the way my heart spiked when my hand brushed something else.
Wrenching the pen out of my pocket, I shoved it in a drawer. It wouldn't stay. In five minutes or ten or even twenty minutes, it would be back. I stared at the wall with eyes wide and hands pressed against wood. I couldn't. Not here. If I ran into trouble, I had to trust the others. Otherwise everything I've been doing will have been wasted.
I let out a shuddering breath. I can do this. I have to do this.
Really, no one was putting the pressure on me. Maybe Batman, but even as much as he glares and makes comments, he's still nice. He'd bring me food, give me advice, he even patted my shoulder once. I doubted the first and last would happen anymore, unless I went up to the Watchtower. And how strange it was that I would miss that.
People say that there's no sense in missing what you never had, but to have something like this and then for it to be ripped away, it hurt. It hurt a lot. I didn't know if I'd be able to keep myself from begging for shoulder pats. My teeth ground over the inside of my bottom lip. Come on, you've survived worse. You've went your entire life without paternal affection, there was no reason to need it now.
A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. "Hey, Nurse Joy? You okay?" asked Wally. Was I okay? Probably.
If okay means doubting my abilities and thinking about all the way I could screw this up, but really that's just another Tuesday for me.
"Yeah," I said.
"Cool, so do you want your food or...? Cause I'm kinda hungry, and a certain someone has threatened to throw me to the equator if I take any of his food again."
"I put some of Green Arrow's chili spices in it."
"Never mind, I like my tongue. Oh, and uh, we're going off on a mission apparently? So if you hear any noises that sound like evil supervillains breaking in, it'll probably be evil supervillains breaking in."
I stared at the door. That was certainly reassuring. I debated leaving the room, going out and watching TV or doing something, anything at all, but nothing appealed to me. Nothing aside from laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling. There was just something so nice about it.
The hard floor pressed against my shoulder blades and spine. Time passed in a breeze as I drifted in and out of consciousness. My eyes flickered and I'd groan and roll over, all to fall back asleep. When I finally woke up and couldn't slip back off, it wasn't good.
I radiated heat. Not all of it seemed to escape me, instead making me sluggish and stifled. I blinked and slipped my hand into my pocket. Glass cool against my palm, I pulled out my phone. I type in my passcode and swiped through my contacts. Names and nicknames scrolled past. , Color-swapped Sonic, Secretly a child, Talk to the fish, Team Edward, Tweety Bird.
I clicked on the last one and held it to my ear. The dial tone rang in my ear. With each passing second, my grip tightened. A white knuckled grip that didn't ease until the line crackled into life.
"Dinah?" I mumbled.
"Kid?! You okay?"
"Uh- Are you sure I can do this?" I twisted a strand of hair around my finger and tugged lightly. "Like, this won't end really badly right?"
She sighed, relief evident. "You don't have to do this."
"I-I-I know. I know I don't. But you already told them I would and- and-"
"Breathe."
"I'm trying."
"Shit- I'm coming over there. I have to hang up."
The line went dead. I clicked end call and stared under my bed. Maybe I could curl up under it? The idea flew out the non-existent window when my door opened. Boots hit the floor moving slow towards me. I blinked, and next thing I knew, hands were helping me up. I stumbled alongside Dinah into the kitchen. She guided me to a barstool before moving to the cupboard. Water gushed into a cup. It took everything I had to keep my powers in check. Don't explode the sink. Don't.
"Here." Dinah handed me a cup of water. "You need to drink or else you'll get dehydrated." I nodded and leaned against her side. The cool liquid slid down my throat, soothing the ache. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to someone? I mean, someone other than me?" I was silent and she ran her fingers through my hair. "I know you hold things back when we talk. And I get it if you don't want to share that with me, kid. I really do, but you need to talk to someone."
"I know. And- And I will, just not now."
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