There Is No Me Beyond You

~16~

The moment Lucas was out, even before Katerina could bring the food to the table by the windows where I now stood, peeking carefully behind the curtains into the fast-thickening darkness spreading over the snow-clad meadows, I started pestering her with my questions and opinions, resolved to get her make me understand at least some things straight away.

"Katerina, really, why don't you simply tell me everything, why all this secrecy? And why is the sunlight the only thing that bothers me since I was changed? Why am I different from the other new-born vampires in so many ways? And Lucas is my best friend, more, my daughter's best friend, he's not my employee; I don't want him to spend the whole night outside my door... How much time has passed here since I left, by the way?" I added, then paused for breath finally.

"Sit." Katerina ordered simply as she put the tray on the table. "I will tell you everything but it will take time. Don't rush. You must promise me that what I will tell you about our kind," she said, staring in my eyes seriously, "will remain between us. You mustn't tell anyone, not even your husband. He knows that I'm different and he respects my secrets, and since you returned the first time, he suspects that you are like me, too. When Lord Vlad sees you tonight, he will have it confirmed. He is a wise man, my lady, respectful of others' hidden truths. I know that he will never ask anything of you, unless you tell him yourself. And if you want me to stay here, you cannot share with him anything about us."

"'But why... Katerina, it's hardly fair..."

"Lady Samara, those of our kind are not allowed to cross paths with humans. You, like your mother before, did exactly that; you both fell for a human and paid a high price for your waywardness, your disrespect of our laws. I am sorry, my lady... I should have looked after you better back then, but from the moment you and his lordship met for the first time, your feelings for him were too strong... I could only watch you head towards your doom..."

"Katerina, please..." I begged, dying of curiosity, willing her to tell me more about this. What she was saying did not make much sense to me so far, but it was incredibly interesting.

But she shook her head, changing the subject. "As I said, no one is supposed to know about our existence; that is the most important thing right now."

She paused shortly to organize her thoughts, then spoke again, "The sunlight is not the only thing you perceive differently. All of your senses have improved. Your speed will most likely be like theirs, too, and you gained a new eternality. This is what you got from him, through your husband's blood, by becoming a vampire. But you kept your humanlike looks and behaviour, your visions, and your ability to connect with animals, because of your other side. You got that from your mother. That part of you is not as strong as it had been before you were reborn, but you still have a lot in you coming from us. Eat or I won't tell you anymore." She added, as I just kept staring at her.

The food was delicious, I realised the moment I took my first bite of the fresh bread prepared by Cook, and so was the wine. I had never eaten anything more tasty and satisfying. That made me think of Lucas again, as I remembered him telling me once, how when preparing for, and soon after the transition, everything tasted awful. Katerina was right; I was definitely different.

Before I could ask her about him again, she told me herself, "The young man outside may not work for you, but he definitely does work for Lord Vlad-- he accepted the post of your... hmm... personal guard, or a knight if you prefer, the moment he reached this castle with the young lord. So, he will be outside your chamber, or within your reach wherever you go, whenever your husband is not with you. I cannot do anything about that; it is their arrangement. And it had been a year and a few months since you left us..." she said, responding to my last question, even as a couple of maids I had never seen before wheeled a large wooden tub into my room, curtsying silently, then started to bring hot water from my dressing room.