Freak

23.

23.

You thought I was dead, didn't you? Yeh... me too... sorry... Can I buy your love back with a kind of long chapter?

It's beyond crazy how this book keeps rising up to number one in tags so often! And I love seeing all of the funny names on reading list you guys have. Like, I'll be in my bed in the middle of the night and suddenly I get a message that "Pumpinkiller added FREAK to horny-for-cowboys" or something like that, it's great!

Hope you enjoy, it's not perfect but I had fun writing it which is a win in my book!

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"Remember when I cut my hair?" Arthur looked sideways at his daughter as she lay on his cot, twirling a strand of golden hair around her finger.

"You mean the day you gave Miss Grimshaw a heart attack? Yeh I remember, why?" he asked, turning his attention back to the small mirror and the knife he was gently guiding over his face.

"Well... I thought maybe it was time for a little change, you know, new life and all. What do you think?" she turned over on her stomach and hugged his pillow to her face. Arthur washed off the last bit of foam and dried off, dabbing the towel on the little bead of blood that rose under his jaw.

"You'll look just fine in whatever you choose darlin', but maybe this time you'll ask someone for help?" he suggested with a wink, throwing the towel away. "Move over" Blue turned back over and lifted her feet so he could sit down with her legs draped over his lap.

"I wish Mary-Beth was here, she'd do it, maybe I'll ask Tilly, she helped save it lats time..." He hadn't really thought about it but it must have been just as weird for her so come back and see everyone older and some of them gone as it was for him to see her tall and so... womanly...

"I'm sure she'd want to be here, I think it broke her, when you went away, she took it real hard, we all did but Mary-Beath was always the most in touch with her feelings. She wasn't scared of crying when she needed to."

"Did you? Cry I mean?" Arthur felt his cheeks warm, it wasn't anything to be embarrassed about but he wasn't raised in a way where feelings like that was encouraged.

"Well, I... I had my moments." He admitted, staring down at his dirty boots.

"I cried, I cried and cried until someone told me to shut up." She laughed, a sad smile on her lips "Esmeralda taught me that it's okay to cry, but that it doesn't mean I have to spend all my time doing it, and that sometimes tears won't help you."

"Sounds like wise woman."

"Ay, bet one I ever knew..."

They sat there silently as the morning cold slowly left the air. Arthur could tell there was a lot on Blue's mind but like always he felt like he didn't have the right words to help her, even less now when she wasn't just a little girl.

Eventually they had to part ways, Arthur needed to talk to Dutch about a job and Blue had promised to help Abigale with the laundry, she kissed him on the cheek before she left heading down to the creek, blond curls bouncing as she walked away.

***

Blue's hands were red and cold, no matter how close she held them to the fire they refused to warm up. It had taken them hours to get all of the laundry clean and the water had been freezing. Admittedly Blue had whished she was out working with the men. Gender roles in the gang were more diffused than in most places and Dutch saw no problem in letting her help out. But all of the men, and some of the women, found it outraging that she wanted to be a part of the whole process, not just be a diversion or stay in the background. It wasn't that she wanted to hurt anyone, she just wanted to have some more active work and in a gang like this there was plenty of things that could have satisfied her, things that weren't dirty clothes or chopping carrots.