Butterfly Wings

The Letter

Mother,

I know this is crazy. I must be going crazy. I know I am. But who really cares. No one. Look out the window. The blue sky, green grass. The picture perfect day. But all I see is gray. Piles of pitiless gray.

Mother, please don’t cry. I know you will, but please stay strong. I’m sorry I had to depart like this. But life is too hard. I have given up. But I am happy now.

I hope you will forgive me, for the pain I bear to you. Let the light that shines through the clouds on a rainy day remind you of me. I will be smiling down on you. Happy and carefree at last. I can’t wait. The bliss, the freedom, the release of the heavy pains of life. Mother, please forgive me.

You may never be the proud parent you would be on my graduation day, or the tears on my wedding, or the smiles of my prom. I’m sorry for that. I regret leaving without a goodbye, but possibly in the future, we will meet again in the clouds. I promise to wait for you there.

Tell Riley and Shawna I love them and that I am sorry. I wish there could be another way. An easier way…but life is a one way path. You have to keep going. Mother, you must keep going for the sake of them. I wish…that I could help, but the burden has torn my hope. But, hope is there for you, that you will find it and remain in your faith.

Heaven…I will wait for you. When you see a bird soar through the sky, think of me as the wings, gliding in the air. When you see the flower bloom, think of me as the petals, opening to the newness of the earth I left behind. And when you see my grave, think of me as happy. Do not fear…I am, at last—free. Free of this life. Free of the dirtiness and burdens of this old life. I am free. Free to soar like eagles. And I will wait for you.

Mother, I love you. I love all of you. Do not shed too many tears, for remember I am in happiness now. When the stars glitter, I love you. When the butterflies dance, I love you. When the music of the piano sings, I love you. Do not forget this. I love you all.

I close this letter with a farewell and a wish. I wish that one day, no one will be judged. That no child will feel as I felt. That justice will be brought in the eyes of the innocent ones. Farewell to you all. I may be gone of this world, but you…you can still make a difference, so that this may not happen to any other life. No one deserves this. No one.

Love,

Heidi

She sealed it with her life and let it go. The light paper fluttered in the breeze.

The moonlit sky dimmed with sadness. Another young life had left the world of darkness.