Chapter 9

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Fat...

I'm to thick...

I need to lose weight...

People say I'm fine, that I'm not thick...

Fat...

They're lying..

All of them. I can plainly see that they are.

My stomach is hanging over my jeans..

My breasts are to large...

I can't stay like this...

After eating, all the time I go to the bathroom,

Stick a finger in my throat,

And toss it all back up...

The bile is disgusting...

My eyes and throat hurt...

It burns...

But beauty is pain...

Right?

No pain no gain?

My throat swells and my eyes bulge...

People say I'm killing myself...

I am...

By eating to much...

It stings...

It hurts...

But looking in the mirror, I continue.

I'm fat. I'm thick. I need to be skinny. Like a model...

I'm not beautiful.

I'm horrible...

A pile of flab and skin...

People say I'm a walking skeleton...

That my skin literally sticks to my bones...

My ribs are like knives...

I don't believe them...

Because all I see is what I was lead to believe...

That I'm fat...

Thick...

Ugly....

I'm an anorexic...

But in denial...

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