I froze-My breath stopped in my throat. My entire body stopped. My nerves pinched, my ears rung, my eyes stung. My throat went dry. "It's not all in your head-If that's what you've been trying to tell yourself." I closed my eyes, trying to breathe properly. This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This. Isn't. Happening. "Are you going to turn around or do I have to make an entrance?" Turn around and prove to yourself that this isn't happening. I was nearly hyperventilating, opening my eyes. I slowly turned around...Nothing. I told you John, Nothing.
I stared at the empty kitchen-I heard him. "Oh, by the way." Sherlock walked in from the other side of the kitchen. I yelled, leaping out of my seat. Sherlock stopped, looking at me now. "I'm back." He said finally, as if he just came back from the damned grocery store! "Sh-Sherlock-" I couldn't think, straight. My vision was going blurry and I couldn't feel my legs. "Listen, I have a lot to tell you-" But that's all I heard before I felt my body falling.
"John-John are you alright?" Sherlock's voice came back to me. I opened my eyes, vision blurry. Was I dreaming the whole time? Was everything a dream? Was Sherlock still here?
"Remind me not to make an appearance like that again." I shot up suddenly, all the blood rushing to me head. "Oh-" I wined, bringing my hand to my forehead. "Don't do that." Sherlock said, pushing me back down. "You need to lay down." He placed a damp something on my head-A rag? "Sh-Sherlock. I-What is happening? I-Was I asleep? What-I-I had the oddest dream. It was horrible-It seemed to last-S-Sherlock.."
John was mumbling, confusion in his eyes. I frowned, this wasn't even my plan. I had a whole plan lay out-Yet I decided to tell him now, in broad daylight. He was home alone-And I saw Mrs.Hudson leave before. But I should have been more careful. I had a lot of explaining to do.
"John. That wasn't a dream. I jumped- I'm alive. It was all an act to save you. To save you, Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson." I started, trying to explain as quickly as possible. "S-Sherlock? No-No. That-That didn't happen. This didn't happen. S-Stop lying to me." I frowned, looking down at him. A bruise was beginning to develop on his forehead from the faint. "John. You've just woken up from fainting, you need to calm down and I will explain this all later." I said slowly, assuring him. I had given him medicine so he was surely not reacting yet. When he would react, only God knows how he would react to someone he thought was dead show up in his flat.
I bounced my knee nervously, watching as Watson fell in and out of sleep. He didn't have a concussion, so he couldn't fall into coma. Thank God. I replayed what I would say over and over in my head. I could have just stayed to my plan-But No. I had to let my body betray me. I could leave before he awoke for good, but I can't do that either. I can't keep running away from the opportunity, I have to tell h-
"Sherlock?" The voice was Watson's. It was quiet, confused, and shocked. I looked to him reluctantly. His eyes were wide, he was even shaking. "John, I-" He shook his head, quickly getting up. "No." He said quietly to himself. "John-" He shouted now, "NO." He placed a hand to his forehead, stumbling back. "You're not here! You're not here!" He repeated, nearly yelling. "Quiet down, the neighbors will hear you." He shook his head, stumbling back. "This is not happening. No. No." I took in a breath, standing up from my chair. He stumbled back, holding his hands out. "S-Stay away! You're not-This isn't real! Stop it!" He said louder.
"It is happening, John. Just li-" He shook his head again, "You're de-"
"God dammit, John. I'm not dead! I'm right here! I've been hiding this whole time-To protect you!" He stopped, he looked so lost, so confused. "You-You jumped! I saw you!" He yelled, pointing to me. I held my hands out, "John, shut up and listen to me." He blinked, looking at me as if I spoke in a different language. I ignored him, "It was Moriarty. I had to pretend to commit suicide so I could save you or else his men would shoot you. You and Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson. I had to-"
I hadn't noticed he came closer until I felt a hard blow in the jaw. I fell back, the couch cushioning my fall except that I fell from it. I deserved that. I scrambled to my feet, "John-" He was holding his hand now. "I-You're. You're real..." He whispered, his eyes looked fearful. "If you would just let me explain-" And just like that, he was crying. Tears streaming down his face. Timing, Sherlock. I looked at him, he was looking at me. "You-You're not..." I shook my head, climbing over the couch to stand in front of him. "I'm here, John." I said softly, grabbing him by the arms and pulling him into me.
His shoulders shook as he sobbed, and I surprised myself by comforting him. I wrapped my arms around him as he did to me. I rest my head on his, patting his back. "Shhh. I'm here, John." His sobbing only grew heavier as he tightened his grip on me. "Don't you e-ver-" He started, but stopped. I hugged him close, "Shhhh." I soothed, closing my eyes. I felt tears sting my eyes, and I knew I couldn't fight them back this time. I brought my hand to John's head, allowing him to rest his on my chest as he sobbed. I took in the scent of his hair: The shampoo he always used, he still used it.
5 months. It felt like 5 years.
"I'm here. I'm not leaving again. I'm not leaving again." I repeated into his hair, kissing his head softly. We stood there for what seemed forever. But that was okay. I had John back and he had me.
To be continued...
