•38: Red Camellias•

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The moonlight casts a silver glow over Shoto and I as we stand in the unfamiliar garden outside the cellar. We stop briefly to catch our breaths before running through the neatly shaped hedges lining the stone path.

"Where the hell are we?" I ask Shoto as I examine our surroundings for any signs for the giant warehouse, but the tall hedges almost completely block my view of whatever is beyond this garden.

He doesn't respond, probably not knowing either. "Can you get in touch with Aizawa?"

I tap the earpiece, but I'm merely greeted by the chrous of whitenoise and static. I shake my head. "Nope." I reply as we near a circular section of the garden with a sparking fountain in the center. 'Just where are we?' I think. It feels as if we've stepped into a castle's courtyard from a magical fairytale. 

Bushes of white, red, and pink camellias surround the perimeter of the circular clearing. As my eyes fall on the stone benches the tiredness of my legs become very apparent. I sit down on the smooth, cool stone surface to relieve my aching legs. "There's no point in running around." I say to Shoto. "The heroes know we're near a cellar. If we move too far, they might not be able to find us. Plus, we don't have any contact with them right now."

He sighs and takes a seat next to me. "I guess you're right." He says.

Wordless silence fills the air in the garden with only the occasional chirp of a cricket. I glance down at my dress that Yaoyorozu had created for me. The soft, red fabric now dirtied with slightly torn in some places from fighting. The quiet allows my mind to drift back to what Carnal had revealed to me earlier. 'I can't believe I spent so long chasing after my mom only for her to no longer exist.' I think to myself in shame and disappointment.

"You look really pretty." Shoto states out of the blue, pulling me away from my depressing thoughts.

"Thanks." I reply as I turn to face him, blush lightly gracing my cheeks from his sudden compliment. The moonlight shines on him like a spotlight in on a dark stage, touching his eyelashes and curving around his cheekbones and jaw.

"You look pretty good too." I with a small smile. I reach up to remove the mask from my face, letting the refreshing, night breeze hit my face fully, Shoto doing the same.

My mind wanders back to the kiss at the banquet earlier. My smile is replaced with a frown as I remember how indifferent he was about it compared to my reaction. 'I was ready to spill out my entire heart for him right then and there.' I bury my face in my hands in embarrassment.

"What is it?" Shoto asks me. I don't respond, deciding whether or not to lie and avoid the topic. His hand lands on my shoulder reassuringly.

'Are you going to run away from this like you ran away from your mother?' A small voice echoes in my mind. 

I let out a heavy sigh and raise my head to look at Shoto, meeting his heterochromic eyes with my own brown ones. I notice his hand absent-mindedly playing with the leaves of the camellia bushes next to us. I take a sharp inhale. "Shoto, do you remember when we- uhm, we k-kissed, ealier?" I force the words out of my mouth as if it physically pained me.

"Oh." He mumbles, averting his gaze and looking down at the stone interlocking under our feet. "Sorry about that. I guess I should've asked before I did it. I just couldnt..." The rest of his words are lost under his breath as he mumbles the last bit. 

My frown deepens. That's not what I want to hear. 'I don't want you to be sorry.' I think to myself, my chest tightening in hopelessness. "No, don't be sorry." I blurt out.

He raises an eyebrow in confusion as he looks up at me.

'Oh my God, he is so incredibly dense!' I scream internally. "I wasn't going to ask you for an apology." I start, my fingers fidgetting with the seams of my dress nervously. "I-I was going to ask you wh- why you did that." I mentally face-palm as I change my words last minute. 'I wanted to ask what he thought, you idiot!'

"Oh, I guess..." The tips of his ears turn slightly pink. "I was just trying to get rid of that guy for you. You looked uncomfortable." He responds cooly. "And I didn't like him."

"Well, you didn't have to kiss me to chase him away..." I mutter. 'Please, just tell me you kissed me because you wanted to. Tell me you kissed me because you like me as much as I like you.'

"You're right, I suppose." He replies. "You kissed back, though."

My cheeks flare up with blush. "Y-Yes, I did. Did you not want me to?"

The tips of his ears grow redder by the minute, soon to be matching with the left side of his hair. "I'm not opposed to it." He says, choosing his words carefully.

"Shoto," I state, not being able to take the suspense anymore. "What did you think about the kiss?" I hesitate before asking my next question. "Did you feel anything?"

His eyes widen slightly before he regains his composure again, but his hands toying with the camellia flower he picked from the bushes surrounding us gives away his nervousness. He stays silent, not responding. Perhaps, thinking carefully about his reply.

"You just looked very indifferent." I grumble out, not being able to hide the dissappointment in my voice.

"Are you....sad about it?" He asks me, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulps.

"About your indifference? Yes." I admit, looking down at my shoes. 'And about the kiss itself, as well.' I add mentally.

My eyes widen as I feel his hand brushing against my hair. I feel something being placed behind my ear and I don't need to look to know it's the red camellia he had been holding earlier. I turn to meet his eyes.

"Sorry, for not being good with emotions." He says so softly, it's almost a whisper. "I didn't mean to make you sad. I am sorry."

I smile at him gently. "It's okay." 'But those were not the words I wanted to hear.' I only want three words. Three words to confirm that what I feel is real and mutual. The three words I'm longing to hear come out of his lips are not "I am sorry." 

Our conversation is cut short by the sounds of footsteps approaching us. We immediately get up from our seats as I regretfully snap out of my stupid thoughts about Shoto.

'It's okay. I'll get another chance to ask him about how he feels.' I reassure myself. 'Hopefully.'


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A/N:

Happy Pride month, everyone! To all my LGBTQIA+ readers, this is your month to shine! Reminder that you are loved and valid even if it may be hard to feel that way at some times! I'm wishing you all a very safe and happy pride month this June!

I love you guys, and thanks for reading as always! 

-Bora 🏳‍🌈💖

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