Hara and the Witch

Chapter 7: Ruddy Princes and their Ruddy Quests

So once there were these questing pals, a really nice pair who hadn't known each other very long, but were pulled together by the world. The instant they met they knew the universe had plans for them and they ventured forth at once to see what they were. Each day was full of untold delight and laughter and, more than any of that, absolute contentment in each others company.

These pals became well enough known in the circles they traversed that, if anyone needed their services they had only state the job and the two would go forth and dethrone any king.

One day, when they had just returned from such a quest and were enjoying a pudding together, a fellow approached them.

'Hello, ladies,' he said, standing over them as they ate under the shade of a willow tree. His determined use of the term, not to mention the fact one of them was a bird and a bird with a sharp beak at that, led to some raised eyebrows.

He wore a shirt that appeared to be made from silk in a violent shade of purple, covered in buttons and medallions and frilled epaulettes, tucked into pants of a tight fitting cream spandex. His boots were golden, literally golden like I can't even explain. They illuminated his whole body they were so bright, giving him an actual aura as he stood over them.

It was difficult to determine his age; his face was unlined but his gaze held a distinct brand of confidence that surely would've taken some years to cultivate. He also moved with a restrained swagger, as if he were consciously trying to reign it in - why? - but wasn't quite able to.

Oh, and his hair! His hair was long and lush and white gold, the aura from his thigh-high boots lending it opalescent tints. He wore it tied into a loose half braid, but even the tendrils that escaped appeared perfectly placed and tame, as if he had just been professionally styled and even his hair knew better than to shift without his say so.

His mouth quirked as if the sight of two friends sharing a pudding and looking at him with eye- brows and feathers raised was of the highest amusement, like they couldn't even imagine what he had in store for them.

'Questers,' one of the pals said, eating another spoonful of pudding.

'...Excuse me?' Still he smiled, but it did flicker for a moment.

'We're questers, not ladies,' the bird explained.

'You look like ladies to me,' he said smoothly, laughing as if they had said something funny.

'We're not.' The bird spat out a sultana and it hit his boot, bouncing off and leaving a brownish sticky mark. 'Can we help you?'

'Well, perhaps. I'm in need of someone to aid me in a small job.'

'We don't do castles or towers,' the other said through a mouthful of pudding.

'Hmm?'

'You want to rescue someone then go find someone who needs rescuing. We don't lock people up. It's in our terms.'

'Oh, no! I rescued my darling last week.' He beamed and both friends winced, hoping he might dial back on the smarm. 'I have a proposition. Like you, I am an adventurous type, what some might call a hero - although only in my spare time, you know.' Someone coughed. 'What I'm thinking is this: in return for you taking this bracelet and hiding it in the deepest part of the most treacherous forest possible, I'll give you enough gold and jewels to get you out of this sorry town. Forever.' He bowed and the friends took the opportunity to exchange grimaces.