Within Her Threads- A Murder Mystery

Chapter 4. Murdered?

What happened? I don't know. How it happened? I have no clue. But somehow I reached Pune, my home. Like a man in trance, I walked wherever I was pushed; I nodded on whatever I was asked, breathed whatever came through my mouth, unable to grasp any sense of time or space. For the first time in my life, I didn't think what I was wearing, how I looked, if my hair was combed, if I shaved my beard, if I had put on the appropriate perfume, if I carried the Ipod with me. Nothing. I felt nothing. Who tugged the phone out of my hand? Who booked the tickets, grabbed my passport, locked my apartment, drove me to the airport, finally got me on the plane and was now discussing the address with the taxi driver, I didn't know. But vaguely, I was aware of a familiar voice- Jay's voice in the background.

I reacted or to say the correct word is-broke down when I saw her, Shuchi, my sister. Her body, lying still, like a lifeless nymph. Again, it is hard to tell...to relive those memories, the worst moment of my life- ever. It wasn't hard. No. Hard does not justify the feelings. It was brutal, it was cruel. As if someone scooped my heart out of my body. Why? Why? Why? Why was I living these moments? What had I done to deserve them? I asked the world, the god, the nature in which Shuchi always believed, relentlessly. Someone said that you need to be strong to support your mom and dad but no, I wasn't strong. I wasn't strong ever. Strong wasn't me. I was not the unemotional person I always portrayed. I was sensitive and I was shattered, crumbled down like a fallen falcon. And let me be this mess now. Let me cry my heart out, was all I pleaded.

People say that time is the best healer but I couldn't feel the healing on me. Fourteen days had passed since Shuchi's death. There was not a day when I didn't see my mother crying or my father wiping his sleepless eyes. Nothing was same again. The house that always used to be alive with my sister's loud giggles and fragrant with my mother's cooking was now silent in gloom. It had become so quiet that at times I wondered if there was anyone in the house. I and my parents hardly talked. All we did was to gather on meal times. I locked myself in my room and made no efforts to come out because every now and then people came to offer their sympathies and I refused to be part of it. It stirred something very deep and painful inside me and I was scared that I might shout on people who, it seemed to me were present only to jab my wounds again and again.

Across the hall was Shuchi's bedroom, her door covered with radium stickers. I hadn't been able to gather enough strength to go to her room. There was a time I used to employ all my wits to find a way to sneak into her bedroom which according to me was one of the most interesting places on the earth. Unlike other girls one could find strange gadgets, books and games in my sister's room. The strangest, the most unique of the market used to be on her shelves. Her walls were always covered with quotes - ones that would stop and make you think and behind those quote frames used to be her hiding spots- where she'd write her passwords or bank account number. Five minutes before the meal, my mum used to call everyone and Shuchi would open her door ever so slightly as if she had a top secret experiment going on there. I realised her ruse when I reached my teenage that it was nothing but to evoke my reaction. Now, I stand in the hall at night, looking at the door, waiting for her to come out, not ready to believe that it is closed- forever.

Jay, after five days of funeral, went to Jalandhar to meet his family. He called me almost every day to know if I was alright. I hadn't told my parents about what happened that day, two weeks ago in London and Jay advised me to just keep it to ourselves as it would nothing but stir the supernatural beliefs.

'Your sister died, like hours ago and then she wandered into your apartment. And not like a whitish-glowy glimpse but like physically. Like you saw her, I saw her; talked to her, touched her...,' 'Jay' '...I know I'm sounding all fussed up. But it's not just peculiar but out of the world. And I'm not saying that people won't believe us but I feel that there is a deeper meaning to all of this,' Jay said.