Paper Hearts: a TaoHun fanfic

The Beginning

“I don’t think I could possibly feel lazier than this,” he sighed into the damp locks of Sehun’s hair, which looked from up close like dewy, uncut grass. No other sound but the fluttering blue curtains penetrated the warm silence that stuck in the air like his clothes clung to his body. Just minutes ago, the long and hapless efforts of the room’s only electric fan had driven the thing to cough and wheeze until it could churn no more hot wind. Two bodies sat, leaning equally against each other, on the couch in front of a black TV screen. The screen in which he often got lost, his thoughts and vivid imagination taking him wherever he wanted to be. But right now, he was already there.

“I don’t think that’s true,” replied Sehun. “You’re pretty lazy every damned day.” He felt a sharp and tickling pain below his rib cage where two fingers pinched him. Behind his long, black bangs, Tao’s eyes pierced right through the calm in Sehun’s. “You know that’s not true. Who the hell just did your dishes for you when they came in today?”

“It’s not my fault I can’t find a roommate to do my shit for me.” 

Sehun’s hand found a new rest on Tao’s neck. He started massaging it gently while scanning the cluttered room. It was an explosion of worn clothes, comic books, shopping receipts and last night’s take-out garbage that told the beautiful story of the last two weeks chez Sehun. Although the boy wasn’t expecting so much to happen in his simple and often lonely apartment, the first two weeks of that summer had left a fresh, buoyant feeling in his heart and had given him more than one reason to wake up every morning. Especially since the word “morning” meant more than just the sun rising; it was the rising of his chest in a sigh of both elation and relief every time he opened his eyes to the innocent glow of Tao’s sleeping face.

--

Sehun’s sleepy stare was so familiar, and Tao felt a swelling in his chest of comfort and desire. Tao took his time waking up. His eyes opened very slowly, taking in a little more blurry light and a little more of the blurry-faced boy sharing his pillow. The light scent of laundry detergent from Sehun’s fresh pillows was momentarily cut through by the pale-skinned boy’s acrid morning breath. Tao let out a soft cough and it was clear that he had made a displeased face when Sehun’s eyes shifted away from Tao’s gaze and turned to face the ceiling again. Tao navigated his hand in through thick sea of sheets and it stroked Sehun’s arm apologetically.

--

Sehun’s hand cupped Tao’s face apologetically. “Hey, we don’t have to make this a fight.”

“Sehun!" Tao barked, slapping the cold hand off his cheek. "Just tell me what the hell is on your mind! You’re acting like a total dick.”

The words hit Sehun’s ears like a sudden and jarring blow to the face. He looked down at the dark pavement, hoping that the clenching feeling in his stomach would disappear with a few deep breaths. However, his breaths were shaky and short and his ability to find words that would better the situation dissolved along with the feeling of security he always felt when he was with Tao.

Tao’s taut voice stung in his ears. “Are you...embarrassed? Of me?”

Sehun looked up at a teary-eyed Tao and realized moments later that he would hate himself for weeks to come for not saying anything in reply.

--

It was a peacefully slow, rainy morning that passed by as if every drop on the bedroom window was a trickling hour. Sehun was nestled in his sheets, not thinking of coming out any time soon, while Tao produced a heavenly smell from the kitchen across the hall. The grayness of a sky blurred by rainclouds was more beautiful to Sehun than any sunny, cloudless day. Covered in a thin layer of dust, his polaroid camera sat on his nightstand, looking hopeful. He picked it up, captured the rain-specked window and watched as the strip of white slid out of the camera.