The High Lord's Champion

The Gracious Goodbye

I didn't feel guilty as I drew her away from whichever room she and Tamlin had found after the chaos had passed. Two people in love, parted by a monster. Poetic. I waited on that balcony, replaying the past  moments between us. If I had known-If I had seen the truth at Calanmai, in that dining room, in the throne room, in that cell—Cauldron that cell where I'd tortured her with her own wounds to keep her moving forwards. If I had known, where would we be now?

I didn't allow myself to answer the question, because I knew I wouldn't like the answer. I would do whatever it costs to protect Feyre, including dropping the tyrant-High Lord bullshit. This woman would being me to risk everything I built and I'd be damn happy to do it.

I saw her teetering over and a smile tugged at my lips. A human in a faerie's body. Finally she joined me on the balcony, hissing with her eyes clenched shut. I chuckled. "I forgot that it's been a while for you."

She slowly peeled her eyes open, staring out over the land beyond. "What do you want?" she asked softly, the structure of the sentence telling me she was trying to sound snappy. Her tone showed only exhaustion.

"Just to say goodbye." My stomach twisted, the cool breeze around us not doing a thing to keep the feeling down. I knew what I had to do. "Before your beloved whisks you away forever."

"Not forever." She wiggled her tattooed fingers, taunting me in ways she could never know. "Don't you get a week every month?"

I shifted my wings as the wind blew across them. "How could I forget?" Yes. How could I forget our little bargain, giving me a pathetic fraction of the eternity we should have?

I held her stare as she assessed me. "Why?" she finally asked.

I shrugged. Because that monster kept me from the heart of my court. Because I haven't seen my cousin or my second or my brothers in half a century. Because if Feyre couldn't end that witch's reign then I would do everything I possibly could to do it for her. But instead I told her, "Because when the legends get written, I didn't want to be remembered for standing on the sidelines. I want my future offspring to know that I was there, and that I fought against her at the end, even if I couldn't do anything useful. Because—" I sighed. This truth I could give her. "—I didn't want you to fight alone. Or die alone."

She stood there for a moment, clearly shocked by my words. "Thank you," she finally breathed.

I grinned as best as I could. "I doubt you'll be saying that when I take you to the Night Court."

An earthshattering realization clanged through me. Feyre can never come to the Night Court. I can never call on that bargain. If I don't let her go entirely it will be impossible to separate myself from her. It will be impossible to hide the bond. But could I bring myself to revoke the bargain? The one thing I could have with her?

"Are you going to fly home?" She asked. Showing the wings hadn't been a concern with her. Not considering my history with Tamlin.

"Unfortunately, it would take longer than I can afford. Another day, I'll taste the skies again." Another day, when I wasn't itching to see the people of my city. When I wasn't already planning what wine to pull out for the first family dinner in half a century.

"You never told me you loved the wings—or the flying."

I shrugged, not wanting to dig into the past. "Everything I love has always had a tendency to be taken from me. I tell very few about the wings. Or the flying. How does it feel to be High Fae?"

She looked unsure in her answer. "I'm an immortal—who has been mortal. This body..." She raised her hand up to her chest, over her heart. "This body is different, but this—this is still human. Maybe it always will be. But it would have been easier to live with it..." She swallowed. "Easier to live with what I did if my heart had changed, too. Maybe I wouldn't care so much; maybe I could convince myself their deaths weren't in vain. Maybe immortality will take that away. I can't tell whether I want it to."

I stared at her for a long moment, waiting until she met my eyes to give her my thoughts. "Be glad of your human heart, Feyre. Pity those wo don't feel anything at all." She nodded, shadows filling her eyes. "Well, good-bye for now." I gave her a sarcastic bow as I began to winnow away. I felt a flicker of something—many somethings—that had my blood running cold. Shadow and light. Fire and water. And for a split second the bond pulsed between us. I stumbled back, half-expecting to feel a brush of something across my iron shields. But it never came. Only the second curse. The curse of knowing that bond was real—so solid to me, yet this human girl turned would never know.

"What is—" But I didn't let her see another thing.

I left The Middle with one place in mind. The House of Wind. The first face to welcome me home was a blessing. "Rhys!" Mor lifted the hem of her dress, rushing towards me, just as my shocking encounter with Feyre brought me to my knees. "Rhys?"

So she listened as every word poured out of me. "So what are we going to do now?" Mor asked, leaning against me, holding me like a wounded child. The mighty High Lord of Night broken by a female I only knew in my dreams.

"Now? Now we're going to find the rest of our family and have ourselves the most extravagant meal this house has seen in centuries. And I'm going to forget that bargain exists."

And if I did end up seeing her I'd release her from it.

Somehow.