My brain

Feeling

I hate feeling In ways I can't describe.

I hate feeling tired but wide awake at the same time.

I hate stressing out about something but being unable to move and act on it.

I hate school.

I hate my life.

I hate that I crave death and also fear my hands when I touch anything sharp.

I hate blood.

I hate it all.

I want to be normal I want to be happy I want to be something

do something

I want to be smart enough to get good grades and make my parents proud

I want to be healthy enough so I won't feel so fat when I wear clothes

I want to have straight white teeth

Im sick of hating how I look

I want to love myself more than I want to be loved I think

Then again what do I know I'm just a kid what would I know about struggles

How would I know what true sadness feels like

Im nothing Im worth nothing

When I die I'll go the same way as any other person and I'm some way that gives me comfort to know that those who I compare myself to will also end up in the dirt infested with worms the same as I will.

But I hate it.

I hate that I feel like this and even if I vent about all my problems I'll still feel like this.

Im starting to think when I laugh or smile it's fake

Im starting to think I'll never be happy as the characters I watch or write.