PROUD - ON HOLD

c h a p t e r 4

HAZEL GOMEZ

The lunch room was gorgeous. It was filled with kids that were also gorgeous and it was chatter-city. I liked this lunch room, if you didn't have any friends like me, it would be easy to fit in, no one would notice you were by yourself unlike a regular lunch room.

That peaceful plan to sit alone but not alone at the same time, flew out the window. Staring at me was Alexander Williams and his hand making a ' com'here ' gesture.

Half the lunchrooms eyes were focused on me and I hated it. My feet told me to turn around. My mind said to grab my inhaler but I couldn't move. My eyes frantically look at everyone staring. I hate it. It was like I was a elephant in a room of thousand ants. Their stares made my chest ache and my mind go numb. I didn't like their stares, what did they think? They were analyzing me in every way. I hate it.

"Hey, hey, Hazel."

My eyes rapidly snap to the voice. Alex stares down at me with a worried expression.

"Y-Yeah."

"You alright?" He asks.

"Mhm." I hum. My heart was beating frantically as my mind reaches for my inhaler as I hold in my breath. It was getting harder to breath in here.

"I-I-I need to g-go." I struggle to say. His eyes widen and he looks like he's seen a ghost.

"Let me help you. Do you need something?"

"N-No. I-I just- I'm going to eat outside today I-I think."

My voice sounds monotone and my face is still as I rush out of the lunch room grabbing my inhaler from my bag and quickly taking a hit. My shoulders relax after I breath in and I close my eyes against the wall. I hear a door slam open to see Alex run through, his head snapping directions searching for something. But his eyes find mine and his whole demeanor relaxes.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I plaster a smile onto my face and respond with a quick nod.

"I don't like attention very much."

He chuckles, "That's surprising."

I smile back at him, "I know."

He smiles back at me staring at my eyes. His eyes travel around my face as I shamelessly stare into his pretty eyes. His gaze shoots back to my eyes as he takes a step forward. His eyes trail my nose to my lips.

"Hazel-"

God Alexander don't look at me like that.

Please.

"There you are Xander!"

My head instantly shoots to the girly voice. My eyes widen and I quickly take a step back. Alex's gaze is still on me but I force myself to look away.

Just look at the girl Alex.

She's pretty.

"What happened Xander? You never sit with us anymore then the one time you do, you leave us? What's wrong baby? You've changed, this is not you Xandy." The girl says taking a step forward towards him. She grips his bicep as they stare into each others eyes.

"Andddd, that's my cue to leave." I whisper to myself quickly backing away before I witness hallway sex. I open the metal doors and rush out to the field. The grass was pretty.

The whole school was pretty.

It was like a fairytale and I loved it.

I pull out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich quickly taking off the crust. I only like the crust when eating turkey and cheese. I lay out my sweatshirt as I sit up against a tree and lay down. This place was perfect. It was so beautiful and classy. I could stare at it all day. I pick up my homeade peanut butter and jelly sandwich and take a bite. I wasn't too much of a fan of them but dude why did it taste so darn good under this tree.