Picnic Panic

Chapter 1

Hermione stiffened as she heard a loud crash behind her. Please, not again. She was attending the annual Easter Neighbourhood Barbecue. The Barbecue was a tradition in their neighbourhood. They all took turns hosting it and everyone contributed to it. It was, as her father had once put it, an example of how people can come together without negativity. This year it happened to coincide with Hogwarts' Easter break and her parents were hosting. Traditionally the hosts also invited their families and particularly good friends. Hermione's parents had invited her aunt and uncle and her two cousins. In Hermione's case it had meant inviting her boyfriend.

Ron had been nervous about meeting her parents and she had tried to reassure him. I wish I'd understood exactly how nervous he would be before thinking of inviting him. Ron had arrived late. That wouldn't normally have been a problem if Ron hadn't chosen to wear his best guess at a muggle suit. The monstrosity was bright Chudley Cannon orange and looked like it had been made from carpet. Ron had chosen to pair this with a maroon shirt and a lime-green tie. The result was almost painful to look at. I even explained to him what to wear. I know Harry loaned him a suit. How on earth did it come to this? If he had at least shown up on time I would have been able to transfigure his outfit into something more normal, but there's no way I could explain that now. The other problem with Ron's tardiness was its cause. Apparently he had tried to imbibe some liquid courage and now he was falling all over the place. Hermione turned away from the elderly couple she had been talking to and saw her worst fears confirmed. Ron was lying in a tangle of folding chairs, cursing loudly as he tried to extricate himself. Hermione tried to contain her sigh of frustration.

"Excuse me please, Mr. and Mrs. Williams. I need to go help him." Hermione said to the shocked looking pensioners who had occasionally been her baby-sitters when she was younger. Mrs. Williams barely managed a nod. Hermione hurried over to where Ron was still fighting mightily with and losing to the rented garden furniture. She made quick work of getting the offending chairs out of his reach and within a minute had him clear of the table that was in real danger of falling over. That would be a disaster. The food everyone contributed would be ruined if he knocked the table over. I'm not sure Dad would be able to restrain himself if that happened; he's about ready to throw Ron in the pool already. As it was, Hermione could feel her father's glare at Ron boring into her back. She knew that her parents were upset with Ron and the way he was acting. I think we can safely say that Ron hasn't made a stellar first impression. Hermione almost cringed at her own understatement. I need help. I'm not going to be able to corral Ron on my own and talk with everyone I haven't seen in ages like my parents want me to.

If I need help, I think I know where to turn. Putting aside her thoughts for a moment, Hermione heaved Ron into a more or less vertical position.

"Hermsh! Shtupid shairsh was inna way." Ron slurred happily at her. "Wha' shay we ditsh t' muggulsh and have shome fun?"

"Ron. Control yourself." Hermione hissed through clenched teeth as she half dragged him to the fence that separated her family's garden from the neighbour's. She lowered him down and watched his head roll. "Stay here, okay? I'll go get someone you can talk Quidditch to." A happy grin stretched across Ron's face as he dropped his head back against the fence with a loud crack that made Hermione want to wince. Once she was sure that Ron was unlikely to be making any sudden detours Hermione hurried over to her mother. "Mum, can you keep an eye on Ron for a minute? I'm going to call in some reinforcements." Hermione's mother gave her a narrow-eyed stare that Hermione couldn't quite manage to interpret as an approbation of her idea. She ignored that for now and simply called out "Thanks!" before rushing inside. Hermione hurried up the stairs to her room and immediately started rummaging through her beaded bag, which had replaced her school trunk in short order after Voldemort's defeat. When she couldn't find what she was looking for, Hermione drew her wand from her wrist holster and pointed it into her bag.