HIS SECRETARY

66

Z A C H A R Y

"I'm actually surprised that you said yes to my offer." Zaria said and handed me a glass of cold juice.

She contacted me earlier asking if I'd like to join her here at the private resort she was staying at. I needed peace of mind so I thought I might find it here. That concluded my yes to her. There's no other place for me to think of anyway. I was thankful that he asked me to come. At least I can relax a bit from all the stress.

"Just don't be annoying or I'll leave you here." I said and took a sip from the juice.

We were both sitting on beach beds and was looking at the serene ocean creating those comforting wave sounds. This is much more like it. Just pure peacefulness and fresh air. Just exactly what I'm looking for right now.

"You must have a problem. Your face is a dead give away." Zaria pointed out and I did not say anything. I kept quiet.

The best way to ignore unwanted conversations is through silence. And I'm going to stay quiet. It's not that I'm not ready to talk about it, I just sincerely don't know what to do right now. I wanted a total break. 

"Ain't gonna share it with me? I'm your sister, still." she said and I sighed.

Fine. She's my sister and I think it won't hurt sharing this with her. Besides, if I will share this, she's probably the best choice. We may be living our own lives now but she's the only one I can truly trust and confide with.

"Imagine if you have a guy friend. He likes this girl so much but it turned out that the girl had lied." I started to narrate the story.

"She lied about what?" Zaria asked without looking at me.

"She lied about her identity. She worked as a different person and in reality, she was a rich girl which is also the girl your guy friend liked before. She confessed about her true identity and your guy friend did not understood the girl." I decided to just get straight to the point. The other details doesn't matter anymore.

"So what's problematic in there?" she asked and gave me a stare.

"Is it justifiable that your guy friend did not understand her?" I asked carefully to not make her suspect anything.

"It's not justifiable. My guy friend's so immature on that part." she bluntly said and I flinched because of that.

I am immature on that part? Am I really? What made me immature?

"You see, it doesn't matter whether she's this working girl or she's this rich girl. If you like her, what's wrong with it? I bet she had a reason for doing it. If you really really like her, you should have understood her more than anyone." she explained her answer to me.

"But the guy's afraid of accepting anyone again." I added a little detail to make her think about it again.

"It's because he's thinking that he's afraid. Just do it. Risk it all! If you fail, then that'll serve as a lesson." my sister said as if it was that easy. 

I was left speechless with that. I had nothing to comment or debate with it. Her point was too strong. But the real question here is, is it worth the risk?

"Kendra's a nice girl. Why don't you try and understand her?" Zaria suddenly said and I was shocked to the core.

How did she know I was pertaining to Kendra? Is she a mind reader? Or is she aware of how things are going right now.

"How?" Was the only word I was able to mumble. Zaria glanced at me before bringing her gaze back at the ocean.

"I saw you with her at the gala. Didn't follow you further more because I value privacy. So, it's Kendra?" she still asked and I gave her a firm nod.

I sighed before finally telling her my story. From the start until finish, I did not left any information. I just did tell her everything. Once I finished sharing to Zaria, it felt nice. It really felt relieving to finally open up to someone. Those were really hindering me to do a good work every day. It's nice to have someone who can listen to your rants.

"I like Kendra from before. Ever since I have been to California with her, she did not left my mind." I honestly said to my sister.

What's the point of lying to her? I already told her my story anyway. And I felt a lot more closer to my sister now that I had shared my difficulties with her.

"So it was love at first sight?" Zaria mentioned and I shook my head.

"It wasn't love at first sight. I fell for her after I lived with her for a few days. She's just so charming, you know." I mumbled and a smile crept to my lips as I remember those moments we shared together.

"She is. Met her once through my past boyfriend and she's really a chic and it girl. I would've fallen in love with her if I was a boy." Zaria agreed with my claim and I couldn't help but smile.

"But I also liked Violet. She was very simple and she's everything that I wanted." I told Zaria because that's just how it went for me.

"Can I say what I'm thinking with all honesty?" Zaria asked and I looked at her.

"Sure. I won't get offended." I replied and she tucked her legs in her arms.

"You see, this isn't such difficult as what your mind is implying. It's such a simple situation that requires a simple solution. It's just you who is making this is all complex. This is not a problem because the problem is you, Zachary." Zaria bluntly mumbled and she looked at me right after.

"Are you telling me that I should fix myself first because it's me who has a problem?" I repeated the idea that I formulated from her speech.

"Right on point! I think you should bring yourself first to accept this whole situation. What's so wrong with what Kendra did? Besides, she only did it to save herself. Understand her, Zachary." she advised.

"You knew about my ex girlfriend right?" I asked and she looked at me with pity.

"The one who gave up on the complexity of your life? She was coward and dumb for not fighting for you." she said and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I was traumatized with it, Zaria. I developed this unwanted fear for accepting anyone in my life again. I'm still seeing my psychiatrist because of it and that's the reason why I'm having a hard time overcoming this situation."

"Just try, Zachary. Who knows if Kendra is the answer to that trauma. What if you get treated vty just accepting Kendra? Wouldn't that be wonderful?" Zaria suggested and by just thinking of it, I can agree that it is wonderful.

"But it's a what if, Zaria. I'm afraid to risk it all again." I pointed out and Zaria sighed at what I said.

"If you don't risk anything, you won't gain something. You know, when things seems to be falling apart, they may actually be falling into the right place. You just need to move, Zachary." she persuaded and I couldn't help but falter.

All I need is to move and everything will fall into the right place. Will that be really enough for everything to be resolved? Will that be enough for me to stop hurting other people? Because I don't want others to receive pain from me again.

"Do you think she'll still accept me if I apologize and tell her I finally understand?" I asked and looked at the sun setting.

"No one will know unless you try. The answer lies with Kendra and it's up to you to uncover it." Zaria reiterated and we both just stared blankly at the sun starting to bid good bye to the world.

"It doesn't matter if she doesn't forgive me. What's important is how I make her accept me, right?" I asked to Zaria and she smiled at me.

"Then what are you doing sulking here? Go claim your girl!" Zaria said and that made me go out of the resort.

"I'll call you when I get to talk with her." I said and she gave me a thumbs up.

"Claim your girl, Zachary!" she cheered and I couldn't help but smile.

I'll claim my girl this time.