MARIGOLD // Dave Grohl

I. A Reflection

Seattle, WA

April 9, 1994

Part I

Sarah Austin was born on April 27, 1970 and grew up in the suburbs of Aberdeen, Washington. Known for its logging industry, Aberdeen wasn't a very exciting place. Her father owned one of those logging companies, which kept money flowing into the Austin household, which was very much needed, as Mrs. Austin passed away from a brain aneurysm when Sarah was all but four years old. She was old enough to remember her mother, but sadly not old enough to know her.

Sarah's brother, James was just over a year older than she, born on October 16, 1968. He was a die hard Ozzy Osbourne fan. From the ripe young age of twelve, he knew all the lyrics of every Black Sabbath and solo Ozzy song to date, and was even able to play some riffs on the guitar he bought with the money he earned mowing lawns. Granted, his skills were not up to par with Randy Rhoades', but they would do.

He had always been an ambitious kid. He and his friend began a lawn mowing business, which later turned into a gardening service, and then landscaping. Sarah could remember the first time that James brought Kurt Cobain around. The year was 1980. It was sunny outside for once, an unusual occurrence in the northwestern United States. Kurt had a white tee shirt on that looked like he had doodled all over it with a permanent marker. As they walked closer and she got a better view, her assumptions were correct. His blonde hair just about reached his shoulders, and he had kind, bright blue eyes.

"Ew, Sarah, why are you staring?" James complained, frowning. "Kurt, this is my stupid sister, Sarah. Sorry she's obsessed with you."

"Am not!" Sarah replied, crossing her arms. Kurt simply smiled, extending his hand out to her.

"You're right, you're not stupid. It's really nice to meet you, Sarah."

James could only stare, open-mouthed, as if he couldn't imagine Sarah, his dumb little sister getting along with any of his friends. Kurt was proving him wrong.

From then on, Kurt would show up at the Austin house regularly. When he wasn't planning his next business plan to take over the world with James, he was teaching Sarah how to draw, and she was teaching him how to play the guitar. He would completely immerse himself in his craft, and would teach and learn new skills each time they hung out together.

On other days, however, Kurt would be afraid to go home. He would drag James aside and beg him to let him stay, that he didn't even need anything else but a place to sleep. He would often vent to Sarah about his father and how he decided to live with him following his parents' divorce. The wound was still pretty fresh, so Kurt was still a bit broken over the subject matter. He cared so much.

As Sarah and Kurt got older, their friendship got stronger. James was always convinced that Sarah was obsessed with his friend-- quite the opposite, actually. Kurt would do absolutely anything for Sarah. He really loved her. When he was seventeen and she was fifteen, Kurt confessed his feelings for Sarah and she turned him down. It took about a month to fully recover from that rejection. But after that, things were smooth sailing. Nothing was awkward, and nothing really changed. And that was a blessing to both of them.

Kurt had eventually dropped out of high school while Sarah pursued art at NYU. After all, she had learned from the best. However, she wanted to pursue it further, professionally, while all Kurt wanted to do was be in a rock band. He idolized the Melvins, a local Washington band whose lead singer honestly treated Kurt like their personal servant, but Kurt was at his service. He would help load equipment, set up, and get them food if it meant getting access to the front of shows. Kurt became music.

He never forgot about Sarah, though. He would call her every day, tell her about everything that was going on in Aberdeen, with the growing music scene and his ambitions to become a part of it, while Sarah would relive her days at her dream school through her conversations with Kurt. Little did she know that he was living out of his car and calling her from his friends' houses whenever he got the chance.

When he finally found a drummer for the band, Sarah was the first person he called. They celebrated together over the phone. After nearly a dozen band names, three drummers and many, many existential crises, Nirvana was finally complete. The new drummer's name was Dave Grohl, and he was a Virginia native who literally moved all the way to Washington to be a part of the band. It made Sarah's life to know that someone cared about the band's success as much as she and Kurt did.

When Kurt began dating Courtney Love, Sarah began hearing from Kurt less and less. He became consumed by her, and also with heroin. He began to spiral and Sarah couldn't do anything about it. She watched Kurt's health decline from afar. She watched his daughter be born addicted to drugs. She watched him overdose in Rome, Italy. She watched him disappear.

She watched Courtney take his ashes away to be spread at a Buddhist monastery.

Sarah wanted things to be different. She wished she could have stayed in Washington and not been so selfish and gone to New York for undergrad. She wished she could have felt differently about him so they could have been together and he would have never gotten involved with Courtney. But in the end, all she wished she could have done was to have said goodbye.