What It's Like Losing A Father

Introduction

I firmly believed the saying that "everything happens for a reason" for the first fourteen years of my life. I looked at all the terrible things that happened in the world and thought that they would never happen to me. I believed most everything I was brought up to believe, and I considered myself safe.

I had known my parents for such a long time, I didn't see them like everyone else did. I imagine this happens to everyone. Once you know someone for long enough, you stop paying attention to what they look like and you just notice their actions. You forget that your parents are getting old, or that some boys actually consider your sister attractive. It even happens to ourselves. I have always thought myself ugly, and I have tried to compensate by trying to have a likeable personality and looking like a nice person. It works... usually. Then every once in a while, I get taken aghast because someone says a subtle complement, and I realize that some people actually like me for who I am, not just my jokes.

My father was the most amazing person. I didn't recognize his power and wisdom while I was a kid. Most of the time, I even avoided him because of his temper and his wanting to make me a better person. I liked it best when he was in his workshop, building furniture or repairing a saxaphone. One of the sad lessons you learn growing up is that you can't say you're grateful for something until you've been without it. In the case of loved ones, that really sucks.

I hope you read this, despite the sadness of what it really is. I promise there are quite a few inspirational flecks in there, too, if you're willing to accept them.

NOTE: All characters mentioned are real people, but their names have been replaced to protect their privacy.