Lost In, and Found In _______

Prologue

I never knew what true happiness really meant. Or what it felt like. People always told me I must have it. All the time in fact. How do I have something I don't know what feels like?

No matter how many times I ask myself that, I can never give myself an answer.

"Lucy darling, can you please listen to me," I heard Henry ask me. I turned my attention to him. Smiling slightly I bowed my head.

"I'm sorry," I told him. I wasn't really sorry, but I knew he would be pleased with my answer.

"Seriously though darlin', what do you think about when you space off like that?" He asked with a small smile playing his lips. Henry was the man that was supposed to become my husband in a few days. He is 23, while I myself was only 17.  In a few days will mark our anniversary, June 18th, 1857. I'm not really counting the days down because i find no need to.

I'm not as excited as any other teen. Even if my fiance is a wealthy man, is a well known man, and is     a man that never settled down before. The thought of Henry Charder ever getting married was non-existent. Henry was a player if you will. 

But since he met me, I seem to have him mystified, not wanting him at all, I was forced into a marriage I knew would never work.

Henry has the same thoughts of me, but he more or less believes he can make 'us' work out.

"Darlin'? Your doing it again," He snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry again," I laughed for good measure. He seem to believe me with a smile on his face. We were on his large balcony of his home. We were having our morning tea on a bright summers day. Soon in the afternoon, we will be going out on a picnic. A tradition of 'ours' that Henry wishes to start. To have a picnic a day or so before our anniversary.

"What do you think about?" He asked me, reaching over the small table to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Memories," I smiled at him. 

"What kind of memories?" He asked.

"Mostly when I was a child, how I would run through fields with my sister Verna, or how my mum would always push my on an old swing in our backyard," I said smiling. It's not what I think about at all. I think about... what if in the future. If I did this, would it be worth it even? What would happen in the future to me if I did it? 

"Ahh, yes, being a child, I remember when I was young, I would always play with my friends. A game that I wouldn't think of playing now. Hide an seek, or tag even," he let out a laugh as if saying why in the world would I even play it now?

I smiled and laughed along. Best to smile and nod.

"Mr. Charder, and Miss. Gabrielle, your ride is here," I heard a maid tell us. I smiled at her and she walked away. I looked down at me tea to see that I never even took a drink. 

"Lucy, come along now, after we go to the Church to see how preparations are, we can go on our picnic," Henry was telling me, already standing up and holding out his hand for me to take. I took it and smiled at him.

"I find all of this just exciting," He was telling me as we walked through his house and down the stairs.

"Don't you darlin'" He asked me.

"Of course, it's not every day you get married is it?" I asked with a laugh, he laughed along with me. 

"Of course not," He agreed.

We got into our carriage, and was off to the Church in our town.

When we arrived, the chauffeur open my door and held out his hand, which I was about to take before Henry appeared knocking him out of the way. Reaching out his own hand for me to take.