Chapter 28

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Jax

We are sitting at the dinner table, eating Hailey's delicious homemade pizza. I'm not surprised she's a phenomenal cook, I doubt there is anything she can't do. The way she makes everyone around her smile by being herself amazes me every single day. She has been through so much in her life, yet she finds the courage to put on a smile. It's one of the reasons why I love her. I've admitted my feelings for her to myself long before we even kissed. I've never been in love, but Hailey has me every sort of in love I could possibly be. No woman has ever affected me like this. And here I am, sitting at the dinner table with her, while the biggest secret is like a barrier between us. Her father, the person who hurt her in ways I will never understand, has been my mentor and inspiration for years. I hate myself for trusting him, for even thinking he was the greatest man I'd ever met. The longer I watch her, the guiltier I feel. Telling Hailey her father never paid attention to her because of me is something I fear she will never forgive. Hell, I can't even forgive myself.

I look at her as she tells Jace and Lily about how we met. Lily asked about us after she finished her pizza causing Hailey to almost choke on her water. My siblings start laughing when Hailey tells them about how she rejected me. Lily already loves Hailey, I can tell by the way my sister stares at my girlfriend with the utmost admiration. Jace seems to like her too, but with him, I'm not certain just yet. I'll have to ask him later if he had fun today.

"Do you like to dance, Hazy?" Lily's words break into my thoughts, and I watch as a grin spreads over Hailey's face. I cock an eyebrow, confused about the nickname my sister has chosen for her, and she mouths the word Later. I wink at her and nod.

"Yes, I like to dance, Lily-Bean." I smile at the nickname. It fits perfectly.

Hailey doesn't just like to dance, she loves to dance. And she is really good at it, too. Hell, I'm a goner as soon as she starts moving her hips to any type of music.

"How about you, princess?" Hailey asks. Lily wiggles in her chair and a huge smile spreads over her face.

"I love dancing," she exclaims.

"Well, maybe while Jax and Jace clean up the kitchen we can put on some music," Hailey offers, and, if Lily could, she would burst from happiness. She nods eagerly instead. I chuckle and collect the plates from the table before I kiss Hailey on the top of the head. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the most perfect girl in the world. Even her imperfections seem perfect to me.

Jace and I clean up the dishes while Hailey and Lily put on some music. My brother seems very cheery as he puts the dishes in the dishwater.

"What's up, buddy?" I ask him, and he flashes me a wicked grin.

"Your girlfriend is really pretty." My mouth drops, and he laughs. "But she is also very nice and funny."

"And so much more," I tell him. I load more dishes into the dishwasher, a constant smile on my face. Even Jace is enchanted by her.

Once we're done we join Lily and Hailey in the living room. Lily is dancing, jumping, and spinning around while Hailey just slowly moves to the beat. It fascinates me how well she moves with the rhythm. When Hailey catches me staring, she sticks out her tongue to tease me. She takes Lily's hand and spins her around before she dances more seriously to the music.

"Can you teach me how to move like that?" Lily asks Hailey, as she tries to decide which song to play next.

"I know very easy steps to a specific song my best friend, Jessie, and I always used to dance to." This is the first time I've heard Hailey talk about Jessie to other people who don't know the story.

My eyes go wide and scan her face, trying to figure out if she is going to need me to hold her. When Hailey realizes what she said, tears fill her eyes. I take a step forward but she shakes her head. Her back is towards Lily, who is suddenly very excited about the choreography Hailey will show her. My strong girlfriend takes a deep breath and swallows down the tears. She puts on the first song I have ever heard her sing and walks over to where Lily is standing. Hailey needs to know it's okay not to be okay. She needs to know smiling when you're hurting is not always the right medicine to help heal the part that's been hurt.

After a while, I put Lily and Jace to bed. Hailey is still cleaning up when I come back downstairs.

"Love, come here for a second, please. We need to talk." She puts the cup back on the table and walks over to me. I sit down on my couch and pull her into my lap. "Do you know how strong and brave you are?" My fingers lace through hers, and she avoids looking at me. "Well, you are. You are the most beautiful, strongest, bravest, kindest woman I have ever met. I just want you to know if you can't be brave or strong for once it doesn't make you weak. You don't have to be okay all the time. You don't need to smile when you don't feel like it. Baby, if you are not fine, you come to me. I'll do everything in my power to make you feel better, and if it doesn't help, then we will both just eat lots of food and feel like shit together. I don't want you to have to pretend with me." She still isn't looking at me but I understand. Showing weakness isn't something she wants to do. "I cannot even imagine how hard this situation is for you, so I am not going to pretend I know how you feel. But please, don't pretend with me." She finally looks at me for the first time in a few minutes.

"I don't pretend with you," she tells me firmly, but soon after diverts her gaze again.

"Good," I reply and cup her face, forcing her to give me her full attention. I lean closer to her and put my lips on her collarbone.

"What do you want to do?" she asks me, her breathing uneven and shaky.

"I want to make love to you," I whisper in a husky voice, and she shivers. Her breathing speeds up and her hands travel up and down my chest. "Are you sore?" She shakes her head and smiles wickedly. I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom before gently placing her on my bed and admiring the view. "Fucking gorgeous."

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