One Hot Night

My Place Or Yours?

Preston is nice. He's pleasant. He wears the hell out of his dress shirt, and he smells good too. Still. I can't stop thinking about Cam. Every little thing Preston does or says dims in comparison to Cam, which is completely unfair. They aren't in a battle for my attention. There's no competition. Preston is the man here with me, dating me, and patient as hell when I asked to take things slow. Cam is some guy I hooked up with. One hot night. That's it.

Preston clears his throat, scooting closer in our booth after he hands our server his card. He paid for dinner, even when I offered to split it, and an extra dose of shame washes over me for thinking of someone else.

"Thank you." I edge away from his body, needing a little space. "Everything was delicious." I pick up my water and take a sip before meeting his gaze.

"Wanna come back to my place for a drink? Or we could watch a movie?" His gaze is hopeful.

"Uh." It's the time of judgment. My time to come clean. I either tell Preston what I did last night, or I break things off. There's no way to have both. Not for me.

He reaches for my hand, stilling it from where I cling to my water glass. His fingers wrap around mine, and his gaze heats as he brings them to his lips. He presses a chaste kiss to the back of my hand and I can tell he's holding back. Like he wants to devour my lips, or drag me back to his apartment. If I could let myself remember why I wanted normal with Preston, I might actually enjoy that. But it's never gonna happen.

I don't want Preston. Not because he's a bad guy, or even that we work together, though that probably should be reason enough. No, it has everything to do with the man who sent me immature and inappropriate texts all day. The one who rocked my world last night. Fuck. Am I really that woman? The one who passes on a perfectly good man for another who's probably a total player. Who is the total opposite of safe. Who I clearly can't stop thinking about. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe another night?" I hear the optimism in his voice. I see it in his unguarded gaze.

"I'm sorry, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Because we work together? Because I already checked the HR manual, and it won't be a problem. We're in different departments, and I'm not your supervisor."

I did the same. I don't know why I thought I could date like a normal person. I'm not cut out for this. Even this conversation gives me hives. I hate hurting him, but the truth does that sometimes. "That's not it."

"There's someone else?"

Yes. No. I'm not with Cam, and he's not the only reason I'm ending things tonight. But I won't deny being with Cam opened my eyes to how foolish I've been to think this thing with Preston could be more. That I could date him and not hurt anyone, because my heart won't ever be fully invested. He doesn't deserve that from a partner. I deserve more than a relationship void of mind-blowing sexual chemistry, too. "I'm sorry, Preston. It's not you, it's—"

"It's fine. You don't need to explain." He holds up a hand, his smile tight and lacking his usual easy-going manner. "I'm glad you told me now, because I don't want it to be weird at work. For either of us."

There's no malice or anger in his words, and for that I exhale in relief. Not that we really work together. I rarely see him but for the occasional run-in at the shared lunchroom since he's in accounting. We wouldn't have even started talking if it weren't for the company-wide training for new hires a few months ago.

"Thank you. For not making it weird. And for these last few dates. You're a good guy." And he is a good guy. Respectful. Intelligent. Kind. Handsome, too. Safe. My heart never once raced when he called, or even when he pressed his lips to mine for a sweet kiss goodnight. Until last night with Cam, I thought I was the one in control. Now that I know how it could be . . . I can't pretend to want safe. Maybe that makes me a complete idiot. It probably does. But one thing is perfectly clear: I should've stuck to the plan. No relationships. No commitments. No messy feelings, safe or otherwise.