Beyond The Wall

Chapter 6.2

/SIX/

He flicked on the light, it buzzing like a bee before settling to a hum. Lion, who was shirtless, reached through a doorway to the right and picked up his usual tank top, pulling it over his head.

"What do you want-" Lion asked as he stepped forward, before wrinkling his nose. "Jesus, holy shit, you smell awful."

I backed up, my face flush with embarrassment and anger. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Let him use your shower. Just for tonight," Crow began untying the knot for his cloak, and then took it off.

"Why can't he just shower at one of your many pl--"

"Shut it. He can just shower here," Crow barked, folding his cloak and tucking it under his arm.

It was the first time I'd seen him take it off. He wore a tan shirt similar to mine but with shorter sleeves and buttons that ended in the middle of his chest. On his arm were strange, black markings. There were geometric designs that trailed up his right arm, and some that wrapped around his left wrist. I'd never seen that kind of art on a person's body before.

"You listening?" Crow snapped at me, his forehead wrinkled. I blinked a couple of times and glanced between him and Lion. He rolled his eyes. "Wash up. And wash your clothes with you."

Lion tilted his head back and turned through the doorway to the right, the dusty, wooden floor aching with each step. I glanced at Crow once more before trailing after Lion. Through the next room was a small futon, similar to Crow's, and a mess of clothes and books and other knick knacks. A t.v. stand without the television stood against the wall, a curtained window above it, barely letting a stream of light seep through.

"That door," Lion pointed to a closed door at the back of the room. "Be quick. Plumbing shuts off in an hour."

As he said that, he chucked a tattered towel towards me. It smacked me on the shoulder but I was able to catch it, and then I nodded my thanks to him.

The bathroom left much to be desired. It was a small room, a toilet squeezed between a porcelain sink and a makeshift shower. The once floral wallpaper was peeled, the wall itself a mildewy brown from the constant moisture in the air. I closed the door behind me, noticing myself in the mirror above the sink. Though the mirror was cracked, I could see the last week had taken its toll on me. My eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by the darkest circles. My hair was a knotty mess atop my head and my skin was scraped and dirtied.

I wanted to scream. I had no control over my life. I never did. Tears welled at the ridge of my eyes and I blinked a few times to fight the urge to cry. If only they all could see me now. Mom. Ophelia. Perol. The government. I bit back a maniacal laugh.

I couldn't imagine what my stress levels were at. Shaking my head, a sob slipped from me. I banged my fist against the sink, fighting the dark thoughts swirling in my head. If I just got a shower, those feelings would wash away with the dirt.

If only.

Tearing off the clothes I'd been given, I tossed them onto the tile floor of the shower. I stared down at the grout, what once was white now a dark, mucusy brown. I would have never stepped on this before. I would have pitched a fit. Placing my bare foot onto the tile, I twisted the handle for the shower. The plumbing sputtered to life, the water trickling out slowly at first before it began to gush. It was lukewarm, nothing hotter, but I wasn't complaining.

It was my first shower in over a week. And though Crow was relatively a jerk, he had only been helpful to me up until now. So I appreciated him.

And then the tears came. They rushed down my face alongside the water. I smiled, but my chest hurt with a sadness I had never felt. It wasn't the same as when my dad died, nor when I saw that woman's final moments. It was an empty sadness. One where I felt like my heart just vanished and in its place was a black hole, sucking the life out of me.

I pressed my head against the cold, tile wall, sobbing quietly to myself. I had to survive. If not for myself, then for those that I cared for the most.