Sapilitan

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Halos malunod ako sa halik nya bago ako nagkaroon ng lakas na itulak sya. Matalim ko syang tinignan, hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi nya.

"No, I was yours, Tristan. I was yours until we broke up. Was. Past tense. No, scratch that! I was yours until Fritzie and you happened. I was yours...even after we broke up, Tristan. I didn't really expect you to still be mine after the break up, but ,hell, I didn't expect you to move on that fast. 2 weeks?" Tapos napatawa ako ng pagak, "It just took you 2 fucking weeks to cut me off of your life and have Fritzie instead. 2 weeks. Just two fucking weeks." Naramdaman ko ang mga luha kong gustong kumawala sa sobrang grabe ng emosyon na nararamdaman ko, pero pilit ko iyong pinigilan. Shet! Tangina! Ang sakit pa rin! Ang sakit pa ring balikan at kung pwede lang na kanina pa ko umalis para tumakbo sa sakit ginawa ko na.

His eyes turned icy, "Wala kang karapatan na isumbat yan. You left me, it was you who left me, and she was there. She was there for me when you wouldn't even give me a clear explanation why. I was begging on my knees, Jeraldine, but you didn't give me a chance. You broke up with me without thinking twice. You broke up with me without even blinking an eye while I didn't even know what happened."

"No, Tristan. Mali ka! Pinag-isipan ko yun. Hindi lang dalawa kung hindi isandaang beses pa. Pero kahit anong gawin kong pag-iisip dun lang din ako paulit-ulit na bumabagsak. Yun lang din ang nakikita kong solusyon. Ginawa ko yun hindi lang para sa akin kung hindi para sa ating dalawa, dahil kung hindi pareho tayong masisira. Pero bakit ganun? Ako yung nakipaghiwalay, ako yung nagsakripisyo, ako yung pumili nun pero bakit ako yung nasaktan? Bakit ako ang patuloy pa ring nasasaktan samantalang ikaw ang bilis mong nakalimot. Ang bilis mo kong napalitan, at kung kailan maayos na ko tsaka mo ko pilit binabalikan at ginugulo? Pero siguro mabuti na din na yun ang naging desisyon ko dahil nakita ko kung gaano ako kawalang kwenta para sayo." Nabasag ang boses ko at hindi ko na napigilan ang pagkawala ng mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

 Ang sakit. Ang sakit-sakit pa rin pala at kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas masakit pa rin. Dito sa puso ko. Pilit ko mang takbuhan ang lahat wala akong magawa dahil pilit yung bumabalik sa akin.

Nakita ko ang pagkatulala nya sa sinabi ko at sinamantala ko yun para magsalita ulit. "Tristan, we're over. You already have Fritzie. So, please, just stop bugging me. Stop confusing me. Stop giving me mixed signals. Dahil sa totoo lang litong-lito na ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin."

I saw a sudden fury lit in his eyes by what I said, "No, Jer. You're wrong. We're not yet over. You were mine and you are still mine. You will always be mine. You said you're confused? Then be confused! I'd like that, so you won't be able to stop thinking about me."

I shook my head determinedly, "No, Tristan... Bakit ba ang selfish selfish mo? Bakit ba ayaw mo kong tigilan? Bakit ba parang ayaw mo kong magmove-on? May Fritzie ka na, hindi na tayo pwede. You lost me the moment you held Fritzie's hand."

"Lost you?" He seems scared uttering those words, but he immediately regained his composure, "Fine. Then, I'll get you back. Babalik ka sakin kahit anong mangyari." He threatened.