Journal of Vidal

30

AN: This one is more of a poetic story, and is deeper...

30

Regret flows from the depths of my soul, with the strength of a flood. I have held these gates shut for too long; and though tormenting, they should not be stopped.

The thought of your anguish, even as I write to you now, stops my heart cold (as well it should).

What I see in front of me is a painting of our love; it's most thoughtful brushstrokes mottled by hurried abstraction and inattention.

A person who had not seen this masterpiece created might think it to be refuse and pass it by unknowingly: letting it be obscured the deep beauty of its many scenes by layers of the tarnish and mistreatment.

But as a painter, I see beyond the dark smears, to recall the hours that I attended to the details... and wonder how I could have let it become so discolored.

The painting that took me my life to create has lost its divinity in my careless treatment; and even if I were to refine it, I fear you would always see it as it is today...

So today, I paint a new masterpiece. One inspired by the muse of respect: a work you can love through our old age. One that you will look at each day for inspiration.

This one will take some time, as I want my brushstrokes to be carefully placed. I need to move steadily to ensure that this time, my art represents my dream.

This is my opus... Don't judge me on my past works, as I have never before had so much skill and inspiration. And never before have I wanted to please you as I do today.

With you as my muse, I will paint you a lifetime: a portrait of devotion and friendship: a panorama of passion and admiration.

All I ask is that you gaze upon it with an open heart, and know I may mess up but I always will love you.